by Charles Memminger
Wednesday, October 9, 1996
There was a short news item about a Hawaii couple who have moved there to become some of the first residents of Mousetown. Actually, the town is called Celebration, which is not all that much better. Goofyville apparently wasn't in contention.
The town, complete with a commercial center, eventually will hold 20,000 people.
Why should this bug me? I don't know. It seems to have something to do with people wanting to escape the difficulties of everyday life and move into a place where everyone is happy, colors are brighter than normal and there's no chewing gum on the sidewalk. In other words, its about people actually wanting to live in Disneyland.
On the surface, there should be nothing wrong with this. But there is. There's something dark about it. Something sad and evil. It has something to do with the symbolism of people giving up on the real world and retreating to a warm, fuzzy, secure fantasy world. It is born of fear and reeks of surrender.
Whoa. That's a pretty heavy load to dump on a bunch of people who just want to hang out with Mickey and the gang. Maybe I'm just jealous. After all, Celebration, Fla., really isn't that much different than any of the other gated communities to which a security-starved populace has fled in recent years. But I just can't get over the feeling that the answer to such problems is not retreat, but attack. Instead of developing fortified enclaves, we should be reclaiming the streets from the dregs of society, like gangs and mimes. (And most terrifying, gangs OF mimes.)
The concept of surrender and evacuate is rampant.
The latest idea in education is to give vouchers and grants to allow some kids to flee from the Dante's Inferno public schools to the squeaky-clean private religious schools. That concept concedes finally that many inner city public schools suck. And so it's not fair that some kids can't go to posh private schools simply because they don't have the bucks.
Ironically, it is moral and religious teachings of these private schools that have made them effective. But you know that those pushing for vouchers eventually will insist that - because public money is now involved - the school prayer, strict discipline and moral instruction is a violation of church and state. And there no doubt will be demands that these private religious schools start teaching other theories of creation, like evolution.
Geez, how did we get from Mickey Mouse to the theory of evolution? Let's see. Ah, life in Goofyville, I mean, Celebration. What kind of theories will be taught in Celebration High School? God may have created the world in seven days, but he didn't have to deal with the Orlando Planning Commission. Uncle Walt, on the other hand, had a hell of a time creating Disney World. You know what it takes to get a permit to drain a swamp and put in a Dumbo Ride?
If the image of a Stepford-like Disney town isn't scary enough, think of the larger implications: community developments modeled after other movie/entertainment companies. Will people find themselves moving to Rambo Land, where possession of an automatic weapon is mandatory and the high school uniform policy requires ripped, smelly fatigues?
Or will they be enticed to the security of Jurassic Trailer Park, surrounded by 1,000-volt electric fences and where the high school mascot is a Velociraptor?
It's just too weird to ponder. Personally, I'd like to see something more generic: America Town, U.S.A. Place where all citizens are safe and happy. And all mice are under seven feet tall.
