Casey Cook thinks a legal same-sex marriage would have prevented
some of the problems she's experienced.
Photo by Craig Kojima, Star-Bulletin
Casey Cook thinks a legal same-sex marriage would have prevented
some of the problems she's experienced.
Photo by Craig Kojima, Star-Bulletin
By Linda Hosek
Star-Bulletin
But she believes if she had been the legal spouse of her girlfriend, who recently died from an infection, the community would have treated her with compassion and respect.
Instead, medical staff shunned her, the court system essentially barred her and the media dismissed her and Lynne Lindquist as "lovers," focusing only on their sexual preference rather than their personalities and contributions.
"I don't know if it's people not understanding how to deal with it or the fact that they didn't regard me as a family member or next of kin," Cook said on the eve of a trial that could eventually make Hawaii the first state to legalize same-sex marriages.
The non-jury trial begins at 8:30 a.m. tomorrow before Circuit Court Judge Kevin Chang, who will rule on whether the state can offer a compelling reason to ban same-sex marriage.
In 1993, the state Supreme Court presumed that banning same-sex marriage was sex discrimination. But Justices returned the case to a lower court to give the state a chance to offer a reason to justify the discrimination.
Community reaction to Cook shows the need for a law to establish equal rights through marriage for same-sex partners, said Dan Foley, lead attorney for three same-sex couples who sued the state in 1991 for the right to marry.
"She was denied access to the most important person in her life when she needed her the most," Foley said. "It was gender discrimination. If she had been a man, this would have never happened."
But Deputy Attorney General Rick Eichor said the same-sex marriage issue must be seen in light of the state's chief interests. And at the top is its role in the optimal development and protection of children.
"Of two families in which one has a mother and a father and one is a same-sex couple, we have to ask which is better for raising children," he said.
Cook, 32, said she and Lindquist, 37, had talked seriously about starting a family. She said Lindquist had considered insemination, but also had said she wanted to be married before they had a child.
She said that she became a parent to Lindquist's 12-year-old daughter and that Lindquist, a paramedic and Punahou School graduate, worked hard to send her child to Punahou.
In the deadly incident, Lindquist developed a bacterial infection after a fight in which Georgette Kido slammed her head into the pavement March 31 after softball games at Palolo Recreation Center. Lindquist died five days later; Kido, 30, was convicted of attempted first-degree assault and faces a 10-year prison term.
Cook, who continues to cope with Lindquist's death and the loss of their future, said treatment by Kaiser Permanente's medical staff and court system heightened the tragedy.
She said she and Lindquist explained their relationship to Kaiser's staff, but that no one gave her updates. She also said Lindquist's parents got her into her room, but a nurse refused to let her take Lindquist's jewelry home, even after Lindquist gave her approval.
"Not once when I was there did anyone come out and tell me how she was," she said. "I'd sit out there for hours."
Chris Pablo, Kaiser's public affairs manager, said Kaiser discloses confidential information only to those with a legal relationship to the patient.
He also said patients can indicate to staff if they want individuals to receive condition reports, but said the staff didn't know that Lindquist wanted Cook to be included.
Cook said she was stunned when she learned that the court may not accept a victim impact statement from her at sentencing or parole. She also wasn't allow to testify at Kido's hearing for supervisory release.
"I'm the one who took her to the bathroom and carried her back and forth," she said. "I didn't sleep for three days so I wouldn't miss a medication. I gave her water through a straw and went through all this ... And they say I'm not impacted as a victim?"
Cook said she still goes for days without sleeping, reliving the last week of Lindquist's life, wondering how long society will diminish the commitment of same-sex couples.
She said she favors domestic partnerships, but supports the same-sex marriage case for its potential to benefit homosexuals.
"As drastic as it may be," she said, "it may be the only way to make a step toward equality."
