October offers supernatural phenomenon
October is shaping up to be pretty weird month.
First, there's the little matter reported here last week that a test of the largest atom-smasher in the history of the world could actually mean an end to the history of the world. Some scientists are concerned that when operators of the brand new Hadron Collider near Geneva slam protons together at nearly the speed of light a mini black hole could be created that could gobble up the Earth. I guess that would take care of the sub-prime rate mortgage and global warming problems. The collider went online last week but the actual business of destroying protons and possible the world won't start till next month.
The second weird thing that could happen in October -- with hopefully less peril to the human race -- is a visit to the Earth by aliens. The Internet is abuzz with predictions by Australia psychic and actress Blossom Goodchild that massive extraterrestrial spacecraft will appear over the United States on Oct. 14. Blossom learned of the eminent visit from beings calling themselves "The Federation of Light" by channeling the spirit of a dead American Indian called "White Cloud." Now, if you can't believe an Australian actress channeling a dead American Indian, who can you believe?
Blossom says the UFOs will hover for 72 hours, giving television crews a good long chance to catch it all on video and, presumably, allow the campaigns of Barack Obama and John McCain to create rival ads welcoming the creatures to Planet Earth and arguing over who saw them first.
I'm usually somewhat skeptical of psychics predicting the arrival of UFOs, but I think Blossom and White Cloud might be onto something. For one thing, most psychics are afraid to but an exact date on things they say will happen in the future. Or their predictions are vague. Venerable pseudo-psychic Jean Dixon made a career of predictions such as "I see spring rains in some parts of the country" and "I see gravity continuing to be a major force in keeping people from flying off the globe into space." Then when there were spring rains somewhere that year and no one was flung into space Dixon would say, "See? I predicted that."
But Blossom Goodchild is putting her Indian sprit where her mouth is. She's saying UFOs will come on Oct. 14. Period. She has to know that if they don't come, her career as a psychic and possibly actress will be ruined. Not to mention White Cloud's reputation.
But there's even more reason to believe her. Because she says the UFOs will be hovering over ... wait for it ... ALABAMA! We all know UFOs and tornados are attracted to trailer parks and Alabama has more trailer parks than any other state in the country. So any self-respecting E.T. has got to visit Alabama.
I'd feel a bit better about her prophesy if she were channeling the spirit of Carl Sagan or Albert Einstein, but they might be busy. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to October.
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