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Honolulu Lite
Charles Memminger
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Anti-Hawaii rant doesn’t help gay cause
Hawaii is one of the most liberal states in the country, but not liberal enough for some people.
A gay man recently wrote a letter to the editor in which he excoriated everyone who lives in Hawaii as "homophobes" because the state has yet to allow same-sex marriage here.
I suspect that many in the gay community do not see as helpful the letter-writer's final ungracious salvo: "Good riddance to Hawaii and the limited intelligence and aloha of its citizens."
I don't name the man because his name is not important, but his confusion is.
To damn an entire state on the basis of a single social issue -- same-sex marriage -- is simply juvenile and ignorant. Especially a state that has become a showpiece for the rest of the country in areas such as racial equality, workers' rights and protecting the environment.
The writer tells us he is leaving Hawaii with his partner to marry in California and that Hawaii will be the loser since they will be spending his partner's "considerable pension" somewhere other than here. The implication is that because Hawaii has not legalized gay marriage it is being economically damaged by the drain of money being swept out of the islands by angry, fleeing couples of the same sex who want to wed here but can't.
That's just silly. If same-sex marriage is such an economic boon, why is Massachusetts, the first state to allow gay marriage, still in a recession? The economic benefits or disadvantages of same-sex unions should not even be an issue in what basically is a philosophical discussion. If Hawaii made decisions solely based on potential economic benefit, there'd be mandatory cigarette smoking in every bar and restaurant in Honolulu. Our ban on smoking has Asian tourists and their money staying away from Hawaii in droves.
But here's the real point: Government should not be in the marriage business in the first place. Marriage is a cultural, religious or common-law institution. Marriage should not have to be sanctioned by state or federal government. If two consenting adults (or even more) want to hang out together and call themselves married, who cares? It's nobody else's business. Certainly not the government's.
And look how well government's done being in charge of marriage between men and women: More than half of the heterosexual marriages in the country end in divorce.
But if you believe a state must be in the marriage business, specifically the same-sex marriage business, the way to go about winning the support of the populace is probably not to call them all "homophobes" and insult their intelligence in the way our misguided letter writer did. Its like accusing the entire gay community of being "socio-phobic."
When you angrily stomp out of a state, insult its citizens as you leave, call them ignorant and bid them "good riddance," it's likely the feeling will be mutual.
Buy Charles Memminger's hilarious new book, "Hey, Waiter, There's An Umbrella In My Drink!" at island book stores or
online at any book retailer. E-mail him at
cmemminger@starbulletin.com