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The Goddess Speaks
Kristen Wong
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Newspaper adds color to dreamscape
I think I turned 28 in the span of one day instead of a year. Being a receptionist can be quite busy, but being a caught-up receptionist is actually hell on Earth. I had pre-stuffed so many envelopes for circulation they begged me to stop. I pre-labeled mailing bags until I ran out of stickers.
I started Monday's mailing on Friday. And almost inevitably, I was faced with the final task of staring listlessly out the window, waiting for customers who never came, and a phone that rarely rang.
Newspaper time! I opened up a few sections. Quite interesting. I read an amusing column about jumping stingrays, which made me chuckle with the last line. I read about the changes being made to the Chinatown area. I was surprised to read about a guava plant that was apparently negatively affecting Hawaii's ecosystem.
As I went to sleep that night, I nudged my boyfriend in the side.
"Did you know there are three kinds of stingrays?"
"Yeah," he said yawning.
"Can we get a pet stingray?" I asked in my cutest, lightest joking voice.
"A stingray? Why?" he muttered, his eyes shut.
"So I can put up a sign that says, 'Beware of Dog ... and Stingray!'" I laughed. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. I talked him to sleep with my newfound knowledge. Soon the only one awake in the room was my crafty little brain. My brain is the source of great as well as lame entertainment between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m.
I was in another bed, on a cruise ship. We were on our way to China, working on a story about guava dresses. Outside the window was half daylight and half dark blue from the sea. I watched in amazement as a young boy swam past my window in the deep water.
I nudged my boyfriend, who, annoyed, made sleepy, grouchy noises and went back to sleep. Following this young boy was a huge, dark, humpback whale. I cringed slightly when I saw the creamy white belly and mouth of a mako shark swim upward past my window as well. After that, we finally woke up and proceeded to visit a beach in China. I clung to my towel in fear, gazing into the murky brown water. I blatantly refused to set foot in the water, seeing as I am also deathly afraid of the deep sea and the creatures that inhabit it.
My boyfriend shrugged, and we moved on to the countryside, to residential areas where clothes hung from lines, and older men played poker and smoked in an old restaurant. Before I could make an impulse tapestry purchase, I woke up.
Now, for those who may have been insulted by my dream, I assure you that I have never been to China and that this was merely a creation of my unconscious mind. I'm sure if I went there I would enjoy it.
But if you ever must endure the longest three hours of your life, spend it reading the paper. Your brain could use the inspiration.
Kristen Wong works in customer service and reception at MidWeek Printing.
The Goddess Speaks is a feature column by and about women. If you have something to say, write "The Goddess Speaks," 7 Waterfront Plaza, Suite 210,
Honolulu 96813 or e-mail
features@starbulletin.com.