LEILA FUJIMORI / LFUJIMORI@STARBULLETIN.COM
A silent march outside the State Capitol yesterday honored Marissa Dumlao, who was killed by her husband May 26. Leading the march here was Dumlao's mother, Emeteria Mose, in front at left, and cousin Li Agas.
Silent march honors Dumlao
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: friends and supporters gather
Emeteria Mose never knew the troubles her daughter was going through with her husband.
Church services set for victim
Marissa Estrada Mose "Lallen" Dumlao, 45, of Aiea, a Honolulu Airport lei seller, will be remembered in services at 7 p.m. Friday at Kalihi Union Church.
She died May 26 in Aiea.
She was born in Urdaneta, Pangasinan, Philippines. She is survived by daughter Manilyn J. Mose; mother Emeteria "Sabel" Mose; brothers Freddie, Ireneo, Franco and Romeo Mose; and sisters Florida "Aida" Cabural, Imelda "Imeeh" Andrada, Rosario "Luz" Sumera and Gliceria "Belen" Soriano.
Call after 6 p.m. at the church. Inurnment to be held at a later date in Urdaneta. Donations suggested to First Hawaiian Bank c/o Manilyn Mose.
"She did not tell me any problems," said the 82-year-old Mose.
Mose's daughter Marissa Dumlao was shot and killed last month by her 60-year-old husband, Eliseo Dumlao Jr., who then killed himself.
Mose joined about 75 friends and relatives of Marissa Dumlao and advocates for victims of domestic violence in a silent march yesterday to remember another woman killed by domestic violence.
Numerous relatives of Marissa Dumlao, the youngest of five daughters in a family of 13, arrived from Canada, California and Nevada to participate in the march.
Marissa Dumlao's death came 32 days after another murder-suicide, the shooting death of Della Dikito at the hands of her husband, Domingo "Bunny" Dikito.
"I've been told many in the Filipino community are ashamed," said Amy Agbayani, director of the Student Equity Excellence and Diversity program at the University of Hawaii and supervisor of the Women's Center. "I think they're all saddened that two of them in a row are of Filipino ancestry."
While domestic violence is of "any ethnicity, any economic class, any level of education," she said, "it should be a signal to try to understand what is going on and support the Filipino community. Our culture likes to hide the issues under the carpet. It is only when confronted and you break the silence that we can do something about it."
"It's a problem when a woman doesn't complain" or fails to share her problems with friends and family, Agbayani said. "People hide it well and also people don't want to know."
Marissa Dumlao, 45, and her daughter Manilyn "MJay" Mose, 18, moved out of their home and into Dumlao's mother's Waipahu home two weeks before the Memorial Day murder-suicide in Aiea.
"She left 5 o'clock that morning, but we were waiting 10 o'clock that Monday (night)," Emeteria Mose said. "She never came home."
Mose said her granddaughter stayed with her instead of following her mom that day. "She died in that time she was to come home to her (MJay)."
MJay Mose tearfully thanked those who gathered, saying her mother was the best mom.
Before the march, she said, "We didn't know so many care about my mom and about this march, so many people care about those who have been" victims of domestic violence.
MJay Mose declined to talk about what happened prior to the murder-suicide. "It's hard telling people over and over what happened, and it still hurts. The more I talk about it, the more it hurts now she's gone."
She admitted that she and her mother were victimized. "Both of us had some hard times," she said. "He gave us hard time."
Donations are being collected at First Hawaiian Bank branches. Checks can be made out to "Friends of Manilyn Mose."