|
Honolulu Lite
Charles Memminger
|
Stopping those who don’t think like you
'I don't even have the words to respond to this column," wrote Jacquelyn, referring to Tuesday's "Lite," in which I pointed out that although the globe might be warming, Earth technically is still in an ice age that has spanned 40 million years. And that according to best-selling author Bill Bryson, in the last 2.5 million years of this ice age, there have been about 17 periods of cooling and warming. To global-warming adherents it is sacrilege to even discuss the possibility that the current warming period might not be man-made, but part of a trend spanning eons.
So even though Jacquelyn said she had no words to respond to that, she managed to dig up about 200 of them, the most chilling being, "With all the evidence that our global temperatures are increasing and the plain scientific fact that increased carbon dioxide in the atmosphere will increase the temperature on Earth, I can't believe naysayers are still being allowed a vehicle for their ignorance."
Consider for a moment the frightening implications of the phrase "are still being allowed a vehicle for their ignorance."
Jacquelyn is not alone in her belief that anyone who does not agree that man-generated carbon dioxide is overheating Earth should be barred from publicly expressing their opinion. They are heretics. They don't worship at the altar of Al Gore. They must be silenced. But how?
The vehicle that allows me to express my ignorance, not just on global warming, but -- and many readers will back me up on this -- a staggering variety of subjects, is this newspaper. But if she is right that "the kind of drivel in this column just contributes to political paralysis in the face of this (climate) change," then I must be stopped. And since the newspaper seems to want me to continue to express my ignorance, then outside enforcement is needed. After all, this is a global crisis that can brook no paralysis.
I suggest a government screening organization, a Department for the Suppression of Alternative Opinion, if you will, that will keep people like me and Bill Bryson from expressing our ignorance. With a big enough army, a government can keep people from saying all kinds of ignorant things. But what about the ignorance Bill and I have already expressed in print? Won't that also lead to political paralysis? So we'd better round up all the printed material and burn it and delete all that nongovernment-sanctioned opinion off the Internet.
But wait, that will just force people underground when they have opinions different from Jacquelyn's. They will still be THINKING ignorantly about global warming. I suggest a task force of inquiry to hunt these people down, a good-natured inquisition, if you will. And what do we do with people who've been run to ground by the grand inquiry yet continue to write and think thoughts that paralyze political efforts to save Mother Earth from her current hot flash?
I don't even have the words to express the depth of my fear where the phrase "still being allowed" might eventually lead us. Really. I don't.
Buy Charles Memminger's hilarious new book, "Hey, Waiter, There's An Umbrella In My Drink!" at island book stores or
online at any book retailer. E-mail him at
cmemminger@starbulletin.com