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Honolulu Lite
Charles Memminger
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Kids think clowns are evil, new study finds
Thanks to irony, Hollywood and serial killer John Wayne Gacy, children today really hate clowns. In a study sure to have clowns everywhere sobbing, researchers at the University of Sheffield in England found that "clowns are universally disliked by children. Some found them quite frightening and unknowable."
This is one of those pointless research projects that pop up from time to time to confirm something that everyone already knows: Water is wet; cows are stupid; the square root of 23,954 is 154.770; and clowns are freakin' scary.
Clowns weren't always scary. They used to be just dopey. Bozo the Clown was the first TV clown, appearing in 1949. You knew he was the first because he had to call himself "Bozo the Clown" so nobody would think he was "Bozo the Wiener Dog" or "Bozo the Certified Public Accountant." He was the first in a line of lovable, adorable clowns. Then some jerk in Hollywood said, "Hey, let's be ironic. Let's make a movie about a clown that seems friendly but, like, bites the heads off of little kids!"
Then came an army of scary clowns like Shakes, the alcoholic clown played by Bob Cat Goldthwait, "The Joker" in "Batman," played by Jack Nicholson, and the infamous spelling-impaired "Killer Klowns from Outer Space." (Nicholson is one of the few people who is scarier WITHOUT clown makeup.) This demonization of clowns in pop culture culminated with the King of Scary Clowns -- at least for me -- Ronald McDonald. I mean, the guy is 15 feet tall, makes you eat mayo on a Big Mac and is in more places than Starbucks.
Then along came John Wayne Gacy (who murdered 33 young boys) posing for a photo in his clown costume with future first lady Rosalynn Carter and, well, kids pretty much had it with clowns.
Karen Force, owner of Aloha Clowns (alohaclowns.com), has been providing clown entertainment in Hawaii since 1991. She says kids are afraid of clowns with good reason.
"Yes, it's true," she said. "Kids don't like Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Barney, Chuck E. Cheese or clowns when they are up close and in their face. The person is four times their height towering over them, and they don't like it. As a mother, I'm sensitive to that."
When she entertains as the clown "Honolulu Lulu," she keeps at a distance, smiles and comforts the kids. But she and her two daughters (also clowns) often entertain without the big noses, floppy shoes and wigs because "it doesn't effect the quality of your work, no matter how you're dressed."
And the savaging of clowns by Hollywood?
"That's a sore subject in the clown profession," she says. "The spooky clowns in the horror movies, that's what scares the kids."
She's hoping that by putting her best, biggest floppy foot forward, she can help turn back the trend that clowns are to be feared and loathed.
I hope she's successful. Little kids need to learn that most clowns are OK. The real scary creatures in the world are wiener dogs and certified public accountants.
Buy Charles Memminger's hilarious new book, "Hey, Waiter, There's An Umbrella In My Drink!" at island book stores or
online at any book retailer. E-mail him at
cmemminger@starbulletin.com