According to Joe
A New Year’s perennial
Make a resolution for losing weight
But beware of nutritional Diet-Gate.
Here's the secret of Jenny Craig
It stores your tush in a hollow leg.
Or restrict yourself to just grapefruit
Bitter taste? Try cabbage soup.
If cabbage then makes you fart
Then NutriSystem you can start.
The Atkins diet? But stop and think.
In three days your breath will stink
If Weight Watchers is then your fate
They can also watch you gaining weight
Any old diet can make you thin
If you can muster up the discipline.
Daily headlines inspire the poet in Joe Gedan, a retired U.S. magistrate judge who lives in Honolulu. His observations on the news appear on Sundays and Fridays.