Who would your pet pick for president?
If your pet could vote in the presidential election, which candidate would the critter choose? That might sound like a silly question, but ... wait ... it IS a silly question. But we live in silly times. So somebody has to ask the silly questions.
In Hawaii that person is Tammy Kubo, a professional "pet nanny" who operates a thriving business (Hawaii Pet Nanny) taking care of pets whose owners have flown the coop for a few days. Apparently while pet-sitting a home-alone hamster or ferret, Tammy came up with the idea of giving pets a chance to pick their favorite presidential candidates. She set up the country's first Pet Caucus on her pet-lovers Web site, visitmypet.com.
Since most dogs, cats and goldfish have a hard time operating a mouse (computer mouse, not animal), pets obviously can't really cast their votes. But the Pet Caucus gives pet owners a chance to say who they think their pets would vote for if they had the opportunity (or at least opposable thumbs).
"In no way do I want to make fun of the election," Tammy told me with a completely straight face. "It's just for fun to see what the trends are. And to my surprise, the Pet Caucus is following the national trends."
That means that so far, Rudy Giuliani and Hillary Clinton are the favorite candidates of most four-legged creatures and, I suppose, various legless reptiles and invertebrates.
The Pet Caucus does raise serious questions like, Are dogs more liberal than cats? Dogs will do anything to gain affection and love, including licking babies and rolling over on command, sort of like many Democratic presidential contenders. Cats are more independent and aloof. If you don't provide a cat with its basic needs, it will kill and eat small rodents or bugs to stay alive -- or even as sport -- like many Republicans.
Tammy's Web site boasts the phrase "Dogs to frogs, we love them all," but I don't think anyone knows how a frog would vote. Offhand, I'd say a frog would go for the candidate surrounded by the most flies, but that's an enormous number of politicians to consider.
Many presidential candidates are careful to portray themselves as pet lovers. Hillary Clinton even has a "Pets for Hillary" section on her Web site. But when asked whether she favors dogs or cats, she said (fake quote alert), "Depends on which professional baseball team they play for."
Actually, according the Web site Political Insider, Hillary owns a "chocolate lab" named Seamus. I assume a "chocolate lab" is an animal of some sort. Barack Obama doesn't own a pet, but he's going to get his kids a dog (fake quote alert), "as soon as we're out of Iraq."
John McCain has three turtles, three parakeets, two dogs, a cat, 13 saltwater fish and a ferret. If he doesn't become president, he can always open a zoo.
So, look deeply into your pet's eyes and then go to Tammy's Web site to pick the human your animal wants to run the country. Two-headed turtles get to vote twice.
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