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Honolulu Lite
Charles Memminger
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Putting teeth in hurricane names (sort of)
TUESDAY Lite Notebook (wherein we celebrate, lacerate, evaluate and immolate issues and events of the day):
» As Hurricane Flossie approached the islands, KSSK's Mike Perry wondered on air, "Flossie? Where do they get these crazy hurricane names?" Luckily, I just happened to call in to promote an upcoming charity event, and I was able to help him out. Few people realize that hurricane names are picked in advance according to themes. The theme for this year's Pacific storms is "teeth." So Flossie is just one of a number of teeth-related hurricanes we may see: Gummy, Brushie, Gargle-ee, Cavity and perhaps the most painful storm possible: Root-canalie. Let's hope THAT one doesn't hit.
» As for the aforementioned charity event: the "Laughs for Lions" night of comedy at Mamiya Theatre on Saturday. Headlining will be comic Paul Ogata, along with the magical comedy of Ching & Choy (it's magic if people laugh) and an appearance by the Soup Nazi from "Seinfeld" (actor Larry Thomas). I'll be there signing my book, "Hey, Waiter, There's an Umbrella in My Drink!" and doing a bit of stand-up. (Actually, it will be magic if people laugh at my stuff; Ching & Choy are really funny.)
A BIG DRAW will be the celebrity auction where you can bid on some really amazing things, like Gwyneth Paltrow's Coach purse from the movie "View from the Top," an antique necklace worn by Cameron Diaz in "Gangs of New York," an original Bart Simpson drawing signed by animator Paul Wee, the "Faux Real" Rolex watch worn by Nicolas Cage in "The Weather Man," the prison jumpsuit worn by Adam Sandler in "The Longest Yard," a greens flag from the Masters Golf Tournament signed by the legendary Arnold Palmer and a Masters golf visor signed by the guy who just won the PGA Championship on Sunday, Tiger somebody.
"Laughs for Lions" is the big fundraiser of the year for the Kamehameha Lions Club Foundation, sponsored in part by the Honolulu Star-Bulletin and Watermark Publishing, with proceeds going to Lions' services for the blind and disabled. All tickets are pre-sale (sorry ... no walk-ins) and can be purchased by calling 528-1073, or online at www.laughsforlions.com.
» Must-see TV tonight: Manic actor/comedian Rip Taylor visits Andy Bumatai's KFVE talk show "Night Time" at 9:30 p.m., ripping into the middle of Andy's monologue and blessing the set with handfuls of his trademark confetti. Later this week actor Richard Dreyfuss will show up and do a little dance. Man, the level of guests for Andy's new show has REALLY picked up since the lepos who appeared in first two episodes: me and Mayor Mufi Hannemann. I made the mistake of actually watching myself on TV when the second episode aired, and it's true what they say: The television camera DOES add 400 pounds to you. I looked like I was going to explode. A PR friend counseled me later: Aloha shirts only, Charley. Untucked. God's gift to the abdomen-endowed.
Buy Charles Memminger's hilarious new book, "Hey, Waiter, There's An Umbrella In My Drink!" at island book stores or
online at any book retailer. E-mail him at
cmemminger@starbulletin.com