'The Sopranos' writers should be whacked
TUESDAY Lite Notebook: » Like millions of viewers I was completely disgusted by the extreme lack of violence on the final episode of "The Sopranos." The much anticipated climax of one of the best TV series ever created was inaction-packed and relatively whacking-free. It was as if creator and writer David Chase put out a hit on the viewers, which was unnecessary because I suspect many viewers were ready to whack themselves 30 minutes into what may go down in history as the least riveting mob story ever aired. In comparison, watching a teetering Vito Corleone tending his tomatoes in "The Godfather" was more exciting. No, strike that. Forget Corleone, the TOMATOES were more exciting.
By the end of this peacefest I was screaming at the TV: "Kill someone! Anyone! Off the gas station guy! Whack the paper boy! Garrote the cat!" It was like St. Valentines Day without the massacre. I bet Jimmy Hoffa is rolling over in his grave, whichever freeway overpass that is.
» For some reason, the fact that Burger King in Hawaii is adding Spam to its menu was national news. CNN, FOX and other networks all ran stories about Spam being cooked up at Burger King. The tone of all the coverage was pretty much the same: Isn't Hawaii WEIRD?! It was as if fast-food restaurants here hand out little packets of crack cocaine with every meal. You would think that Burger King serving Spam wouldn't even be news in Hawaii, let alone New Jersey. What's weird is that Burger King was the only eatery in Hawaii that DIDN'T serve Spam. McDonald's has been dishing out Spam for years without ever getting national coverage. At Zippy's, you have to ask for Spam NOT to be included in your meal, even if you're ordering donuts. 7-Eleven serves about 4,355 Spam musubis a day at each of its stores.
The national coverage hinted that because people in Hawaii actually admit to eating Spam, somehow that makes us unsophisticated and backward. Hah. We're just careful. Hey, Wolf Blitzer, you know the difference between Spam and beef, pork, chicken, spinach, lettuce and peanut butter? SPAM has never been recalled. And like fine wine, it only gets better with age.
» The question of how low airfares in Hawaii can go has been answered with go! airlines offering 1,000 one-way trips for $1. At one dollar a ticket, go! essentially is giving free plane rides away. Who would have thought it would cost more to drive to the airport than for the actual flight to another island? I'm a bit leery of this $1 promotion. There must be a catch. Like, the flight costs a buck but the cup of guava juice onboard is $84. Or the ticket is only good on certain dates, like Feb. 30.
This airfare war is getting out of hand. Pretty soon the airlines will be paying people to fly, forcing them onto the planes with cattle prods. Looks to me like "go!" is not a suggestion but an actual order.
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