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Honolulu Lite
Charles Memminger
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Hawaii needs a day like St. Patty's Day
I WAS on my second helping of corned beef and cabbage Saturday when I suddenly realized how amazing it is that those wily Irish have managed to commandeer an entire day of the year for themselves, a day when the entire world goes bonkers, dresses in green clothes the likes of which they'd never wear on any other day and eats food that they'd never ingest on purpose, like soggy, boiled cabbage.
Along with getting the rest of the world to act goofy and get really, really drunk, the Irish have managed to get people to focus on their culture, their history and their country, which is something that no other country really has achieved. I mean, there's no St. Bratwurst Day when the entire world celebrates those zany Germans or St. Haile Selassie Day when we pretend we are starving Ethiopians or St. Holy Cow Day when we all dress up like residents of India and put "you are here" red paper dots on our foreheads.
The people of most cultures and heritage would be offended if others parodied their lifestyle, dress and culinary peculiarities, just as I'm sure some people will take offense to that last sentence. But the Irish take such foolery with a sly wink and a nudge, knowing that the goodwill St. Patrick's Day generates and the interest it spurs in the really serious aspects of life in Ireland make up for the comic aspects.
WHICH brings me (finally) to the point: Why doesn't Hawaii set out to commandeer one day of the year for a celebration? We're a lot like Ireland: We're an island state; the indigenous residents were conquered by an invading force but are slowly regaining some form of sovereignty; we eat strange foods; and, like Ireland, our shores are populated by mythical "little people." They've got leprechauns, we've got menehune. They've got "Riverdance," we've got hula. They've got corned beef and cabbage, we've got, well, kalua pork and cabbage. What we don't have is one day of the year when the rest of the world thinks about our islands and our history, dresses in muumuus and lava-lavas and drinks flaming rum cocktails out of hollowed-out pineapples.
Some Hawaiians and Hawaii residents in general will blanch at the thought of the world dressing up in gaudy aloha attire, mispronouncing "mahalo," doing really bad hula and setting pigs on fire instead of burying them with hot rocks in the proper fashion. But that's why the Irish have succeeded where other cultures fear to tread, especially in rubba slippas. People always poke fun at lifestyles different from their own. But the Irish prefer to join in than take offense. And when you consider all the heartbreak and hard times in Irish history, the fact that they not only celebrate their heritage with good cheer, but have convinced the entire world to celebrate with them -- it's inspiring. We should elevate Kamehameha the Great or Don Ho to sainthood and launch our own version of St. Patrick's Day.
Buy Charles Memminger's hilarious new book, "Hey, Waiter, There's An Umbrella In My Drink!" at island book stores or
online at any book retailer. E-mail him at
cmemminger@starbulletin.com