The Goddess Speaks
Writing can express all the emotions
WRITING is cathartic for me. I keep a small volume of essays -- mostly about growing up a short Japanese. No real angst. Just thoughtful reminiscences.
I started writing letters to the editor a couple of years ago, and it became my tongue-in-cheek way of voicing my opinions (some stronger than others). My occasional contributions to "The Goddess Speaks" are a way to express my observations of my limited world.
There's something about being committed to a feeling, to a memory, to a wish, when you commit it to writing. That being said, it's also a good idea to wait 24 hours before you commit your writing to perpetuity. Especially when you're upset. Like when you write a letter of complaint. It's important to write down all the details, but you should wait 24 hours to remove the emotion before you send it off to the powers that be.
Writing is the best way to express all the emotions -- happiness, joy, pride, hostility and anger, appreciation, love and compassion. It's the best way to explore feelings of sadness, and it helps answer the age-old question of "Why?" when someone is injured or dies. Writing ranks right up there with a good cry and a good shout out.
I'M WRITING now to express sadness, as my heart is aching for the loss of a friend of 55 years. Someone I've known since kindergarten at Pauoa School. Someone whom I can't imagine not having in my life anymore.
I last spoke to him and hugged him on Christmas Eve at our annual party that he and his family so graciously hosted. He knew then that he was not well, but he never let on.
At 7 p.m. he thanked us all for coming and to "go home now," which we all took as our signal that dinner was being served. When he asked us to clean up before we left, we started our team games. He loved just watching the kids enjoy each other's company, hearing old friends swap stories and catching up on the past year's events.
With his passing, I find myself reflecting on friendships -- new and old. Those of us left behind know that life is too short. We know that we must be kinder to each other and that we must treasure our time with family and friends.
I made the usual New Year's resolutions: Lead a healthier lifestyle; do more walking; use less profanity. Yesterday I decided on another one. I'm going to go with my instinct more, and when I think of a friend, I'm going to call, e-mail or write a note.
I'm going to think of a way to communicate with a friend every Monday. I'm not going to wait for a reason. And, maybe someday the ache in my heart will become bearable as I say aloha to Lloyd.
Carol Chun works at Punahou School.
The Goddess Speaks is a feature column by and about women. If you have something to say, write "The Goddess Speaks," 7 Waterfront Plaza, Suite 210,
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