Tsunami's a washout, but not Tadd
WHO WOULD have thought that the biggest waves generated after a tsunami warning
over the weekend would occur at the Waialae Country Club instead of along the beaches?
It was Tidal Wave Tadd, the 16-year-old island amateur golf sensation, who was making waves at the Sony Open, surging past a host of professional golfers, including beating that other Hawaii golf sensation whose name suddenly escapes me. Oh, yeah, Michelle something-or-other.
The Yoda-size Tadd Fujikawa seemed unfazed as he strode among golfing giants on the oceanside course. (He probably just seemed Yoda-size because he is 5-foot-1 and he was paired up in the final round with Jim Furyk, who's, like, 8-foot-6.) He came in 20th among the pros, first among the amateurs (he was the only one there) and first in the hearts of the golfing press, who just love to stick it to the tour's big guns. ("Hey, Daly, whatsa matter? Can't even beat girls and little kids now?")
WHILE Tidal Wave Tadd swept through Waialae, island residents were recovering from a devastating 11-inch tsunami that swept into Haleiwa on Saturday, turning over Dixie cups on the sand and chasing some of the smaller crabs onto the jetty.
As far as I can tell, the main effect of the tsunami threat was that it convinced some illegal campers to move off the beaches of the Waianae Coast for a while (why did the illegal campers cross the road?) and convinced a friend of mine to finally back up the computer files at her child day-care center.
Reacting to what turned out to be a mistaken "tsunami warning" issued by the National Weather Service after an earthquake in the northern Pacific, my friend, whose day-care center sits in a tsunami inundation zone, rushed into her office and backed up all the computer files she should have backed up a long time ago. She was philosophical after the threat turned out to be largely hypothetical.
"Hey, finally got those files backed up," she said. I know what she means. If my house were not on the side of a hill well above sea level, I'd have backed up my computer, too. Or at least moved it to the roof.
The National Weather Service apologized for mistakenly issuing the tsunami warning. I say, don't worry about it. A few more warnings like that and we'll have the beaches clean and all of our chores around the house and office finished.
Buy Charles Memminger's hillarious new book, "Hey, Waiter, There's An Umbrella In My Drink!" at island book stores or online
at any book retailer. E-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org