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The Goddess Speaks
Lauren M. Chang
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Surprise gifts add more stress to the season
IHADN'T planned on giving Lani a gift this Christmas, but there she was at my doorstep. Panic attack!
I looked through the peephole in an attempt to see what she'd brought. Though her face was distorted, I could clearly make out the Chanel shopping bag in her hand and hoped, really hoped, that her gift wasn't from that high-end store.
I took a deep breath and opened the door. "Merry Christmas!" she exclaimed, practically lunging at me.
"Merry Christmas!" I replied, faking my voice and smile. She handed me the bag. I felt sick. I didn't have the heart to confess that I didn't get her anything, not even a card.
We've all been in this situation. I mean, really, what are you supposed to do? I guess it depends on the type of person you are. If you're an honest person, you'll say something, well, honest.
If you're dishonest, as most of us would be in this situation (for the sake of sparing a friend's feelings), you'll say something like, "I'll give you your gift later, I didn't wrap it yet," or "I ordered you something online and I'm still waiting for it."
And if you have absolutely no shame, you'll run inside and rummage through your gifts to see what you can "re-gift."
I did the "re-gifting" thing once in the fifth grade when my friend gave me a jewelry box I didn't want. I learned my lesson when I found out that it had "Lauren" written on the lid in puffy paint. Shame.
My friend Frank is no stranger to surprise gift-givers, which is why every year he buys a few "emergency" gifts -- Borders gift cards, for example -- just in case. If he doesn't give them all away, he can always spend them later.
Next year, I'm buying gift cards from Starbucks. All my yuppie friends love Starbucks.
THERE WAS no way I could wait until Christmas, so as soon as Lani left, I opened her gift. Inside, as I had feared, was something expensive -- a pair of Chanel sunglasses!
I'm sure Lani meant well. She probably didn't warn me before coming over so that I wouldn't feel obligated to get her something in return. On second thought, she can be a little twisted, so maybe she was trying to sabotage me.
Whatever the case, I went to Neiman Marcus that day and bought her a pair of designer jeans.
I guess the gift exchanging worked out in the end. I loved the sunglasses; she loved the jeans. It could have been worse.
Lani could have brought me a fruitcake that I would never eat, and I would have been upset that I had to give her something in return for her nice gesture.
Gift exchanging shouldn't be such a big deal. Next year, I'll be ready for Lani, but if another one of my girlfriends unexpectedly shows up at my doorstep, I'll calmly remind them that Jesus is the real reason for the season.
Lauren M. Chang is a Star Bulletin/Midweek ad staffer and former "re-gifter." "The Goddess Speaks" is a feature by and about women. Essays of about 500 words may be sent to "The Goddess Speaks," 7 Waterfront Plaza, Suite 210, Honolulu 96813; or e-mail
features@starbulletin.com
The Goddess Speaks is a feature column by and about women. If you have something to say, write "The Goddess Speaks," 7 Waterfront Plaza, Suite 210,
Honolulu 96813 or e-mail
features@starbulletin.com.