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Digital Slob
Curt Brandao
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Stuff those stockings and avoid guilt
There are many awkward, unanswered questions when it comes to holiday gift-giving, not the least of which is: How old is too old to have a Christmas stocking on the mantel?
It's a judgment call for family elders. In my case, the "doodad well" ran dry on my 18th Christmas -- a long run, I'll admit. In retrospect, when Santa starts stuffing your giant sock with portable electric shavers and Brut cologne, it's a pretty clear signal that the end is nigh.
Still, I was relatively peeved. Eighteen was a tough age for me -- not old enough to drink, but old enough to be asked to sign up for Selective Service and to stomach a roomful of relatives on Dec. 25 without a string of candy canes or a giant pack of Trident gum to dull the pain.
And if 18 sounds ridiculously old for a Christmas stocking, keep in mind that my parents didn't cut off my 21-year-old brother until that same year, adding to my over-inflated sense of victimization. Why did he get three more years of goodies than me? Does that sound fair? Emotionally, only a trio of belated gift-filled socks can bring me the closure I so desperately need. I already sent this story to Oprah -- twice. Still waiting to hear back.
That said, here are some ideas for techie stocking stuffers this holiday season:
Philips Cassette Adapter (eBay.com, about $5): Nothing will improve the quality of your loved ones' iPod-dependent existence more than a basic cassette adapter to take audio on the road. Few Digital Slobs still want to fill their commutes digesting "The Morning Zoo with P.J. and the Sponge" on AM radio -- a medium that now mixes four parts car commercials to every one part PG-13 banter about Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson.
However, there's no need to break the bank with "all-purpose, 5-in-1" iPod-branded kits that vow to simultaneously charge them, cradle them, auto-tune them to the clearest FM frequency, broadcast them wirelessly through your car's speakers and allow them to redirect all their radiant heat toward warming your Starbucks latte.
The Philips adapter is a perfectly simple, 1980s-era device that looks like a cassette with a wire coming out. It sticks into your deck and connects to any mp3 or portable CD player. In my experience, this less elegant but cheaper solution outperforms more expensive FM wireless transmitters that often end up on the losing end of loud, static frequency fights with area radio stations as you move along block-by-block.
Besides, most Slobs just want to listen to our tunes in the car, not boot up an uber-accessory that will make our preflight checklist as long as a Boeing 767's.
Duck Vacuum Cleaner (funnycoolstuff.com, $21): Clean the cracker and Twinkie dust out of keyboard crevices with this USB-powered gadget featuring a tiny duck frame that covers its tiny vacuum chassis. Being the office anal-retentive has never been so well cloaked in cuteness.
Aiptek Pencam Trio (aiptek.com, $10): For those who sort of want to record everything in every way as long as it doesn't cost a lot, this thin, 5-inch-high, AAA-battery-powered device can capture about two dozen medium-quality photos, or about two minutes of low-quality video, and also serves as a Web cam. Sure, most cell phones can now run circles around its features, but at least you can pick one of these up without having to take a lawyer along to read the fine print.
Next week: More gadgets.
Reach Star-Bulletin columnist
Curt Brandao and subscribe to the free "digitalslobpod" podcast at
digitalslob.com.