|
Honolulu Lite
Charles Memminger
|
Hawaiian Air can't let quake go
SCRAPS from the "Honolulu Lite" Tuesday Notebook ...
» Hawaiian Airlines curiously seems intent on reminding potential visitors of the earthquake that happened more than a week ago.
Callers to the main Hawaiian Air reservation number as recently as yesterday were told, "Due to the recent earthquake and power outage, we are experiencing higher than usual phone volume." If you go to the Hawaiian Air Web site, as you are encouraged to do, you are met with another warning: "Read our policy for flight changes due to earthquake." What follows are detailed instructions about flights to or from the Big Island. I'm thinking that if I were calling from the mainland considering a trip to Hawaii and hearing all this "earthquake" and "power outage" stuff, I'd consider going to Cancun instead.
I thought Gov. Linda Lingle was urging the tourist industry to play up that Hawaii is open for business and not to dwell on a long-gone earthquake that, despite national headlines, caused little damage. And what does a power outage from eight days ago have to do with a phone call to airlines today?
Apparently nothing. At least it isn't a problem for Aloha Airlines or the upstart go! budget carrier. Neither mentions the earthquake or power outage when you call for reservations or visit their Web sites. In fact, go! actually has a living human being answering the reservation line instead of the digital voice instructions we have all come to despise when calling most businesses. Way to go, go! and Aloha Air. Hawaiian Air: Shake it off. Get over it.
» To the chagrin of headline writers everywhere, Mexico apparently has dropped extradition proceedings against Hawaii bounty hunter Duane "Dog" Chapman. TV talking heads and headline writers will no longer be able to dip into their vast barrel of dog-related puns to describe Chapman's legal problems. He isn't headed for the pound or doghouse. He hasn't been brought to heel. He's no longer collared. But apparently Mexico did roll over and throw him a bone.
» A lot of people criticized pop icon Madonna for "buying" an orphaned boy in Malawi. It turns out that after lavishing many thousands of dollars on the African nation in return for skirting the usual lengthy adoption process, Madonna isn't buying the child. Instead she is getting to keep the boy for an 18-month "interim" adoption period. So instead of buying the kid, it's more like "rent to own."
Charles Memminger, the National Society of Newspaper Columnists' 2004 First Place Award winner for humor writing, appears Sundays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. E-mail
cmemminger@starbulletin.com