What the Heck? John Heckathorn

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Chaps pull inner cowboy out of closet

Kalihi Cowboy: Politics can get a little dull, so Bill Woods decided to liven up the Democratic Party convention last weekend. Woods, who's running for the state house from Kalihi Valley, is also executive director of GLEA, the Gay and Lesbian Education and Advocacy Foundation.

About to give a speech, Woods leaped on stage wearing cowboy boots, black 501 jeans, a black cowboy shirt with white piping and a Stetson.

"You can learn a lot going to the movies," he said. "I went to see 'Brokeback Mountain.' And I learned that I'm a closet cowboy."

Moore's Cowboy Closet: Joe Moore's new play, "Unlikely Lawman," which opens Thursday at Mamiya Theatre, is more John Wayne than "Brokeback Mountain." To underscore that point, Moore will be wearing a brass belt buckle that Wayne himself wore during filming of the classic 1948 Howard Hawks' western, "Red River."

How did the Duke's belt buckle end up in Moore's closet? Wayne's son, Michael, presented it to him after he saw a videotape of Joe's 1994 play, "John Wayne: the Man Behind the Legend."

Redneck Riviera: Last week fashion promoter Philana Bouvier and Melissa Ho, wife of Bankoh vice chairman Peter Ho, flew to Boca Grande, Fla. There, wearing lei and Cinnamon Girl dresses, they were bridesmaids at the wedding of former KHNL reporter and MidWeek columnist Melisa Uchida to Robert Dean.

Bouvier didn't think much of Florida. "Boca Grande is the Redneck Riviera," she says. But she's happy to report to Uchida's fans and friends that "the wedding was beautiful. Missy's married to her college sweetheart, pregnant, living in Baltimore and misses Hawaii more than anything."

Out of Town: On the cover of its new issue, local magazine Blush promises, "Meet This Month's Single & Successful Male." Interested readers will have to be patient. This month's featured single man, adventure photographer Guy Sibilla, just left town. He's off to West Africa, trekking into the highlands to photograph the Yoruba tribe. Along the way, Sibilla intends to raft across the Niger River. Why? "Because I've already crossed the Zambezi."

T-shirts and Tails: Outside of all the talent in the room, the great thing about the Na Hoku awards is that the dress is black tie optional. Very optional.

The Old Guard wears tuxes and gowns, the hip-hop and reggae guys dress in shorts, and everyone else wears their own version of fancy dress.

At singer Danny Couch's table, his friend Ed Arnold from Bremerton, Wash., wore a suit so white it almost glowed. Back in Bremerton, Ed's a funeral director. "I don't get much chance to wear white on the job," he said.

The most resplendent outfit belonged to Kaumakaiwa "Lopaka" Kanaka'ole, whose "Welo" won Hawaiian album of the year and tied for Hawaiian-language performance honors. Kanaka'ole wore tails -- custom-made by Hilo designer Sig Zane in a tropical print. With him was a huge group of family and friends. His friend Umikalai Enos, for whom Kanaka'ole had written one of the songs, wore shorts, slippers, a backwards baseball cap and a T-shirt that read "FreakinHaole."

"Where can I get one of those?" said one of the paler people at my table.

OOPs: Perhaps the wildest outfit at the Hokus belonged to Frank De Lima. To present the award for best religious album, he dressed up as Cardinal Vermicelli al Dente, in full Vatican regalia. In a hilarious riff on "The Da Vinci Code," he managed to repeatedly plug his "Frank De Lima's Joke Book."

His publisher, who happened to be in the audience, winced. Said Buddy Bess of Bess Press, "That's a 1997 book. We let it go out of print a year ago, sure we'd never get any more publicity for it."

Ask Once More: I finally caught "La Cage au Folles" at Diamond Head Theatre. The run has been extended until next Sunday, so you have one more weekend to catch what is perhaps the best musical ever put on a local stage. Broadway veteran Randl Ask plays Albin, the transvestite chanteuse, with incredible warmth and restraint, earning him standing ovations.

Ask is also directing Manoa Valley Theatre's "Pageant," which opens at the end of the month. But "La Cage" is your last chance to see him on stage. He's off for New York, where's he got backing for a one-man show called "Madame Bootzie's Psychic Lounge."

Be It Ever So Humble: Keith and Candice Kraughto's Chinatown condo is about to get national TV exposure. This week, it appears on an episode of HGTV's "National Open House."

Candice insists she's dreading it. The condo, which the couple decorated themselves, will be featured in a segment on properties costing $250,000 or less, along with homes from Georgia and New Jersey. "I'm sure the other houses will be huge," she says. The Kraughto's condo is all of 507 square feet.