Some gadgets don't dampen mood in bath
Though our significant others might be tempted to throw us out with the bathwater every few years -- or in some cases every hour on the hour -- more times that not they'll be satisfied if we Digital Slobs just agree to double up on the bathwater.
From greasy hair to flaky skin to body odor that can set off the hallway smoke alarm, Slobs often require intense, time-consuming detailing just to be made presentable enough for the Taco Bell dining area.
Yet it may shock Respectable People to learn that we're more than willing to clean up, once we mature past that choking-reflex thing you can get when you put your face directly into the shower spray, sometime roughly between the ages of 9 and 26.
However, it's not a desire to become spic-and-span that draws Slobs to the wash closet as much as the privacy perks such an assignment permits.
Usually we can't be trusted to clean out the fridge, the garage or the litter box without constant supervision (we're not above shifting the mess between locations like a shell game). But when it comes to our own pores, we're given carte blanche as independent contractors.
While in the bathroom, we get much-needed emotional distance from not only the outside world, but also the inside one we're not supposed to need any distance from. And the more time the better.
In the stressed Digital Age, a Slob's domestic bliss is often directly related to the size of his water heater. Polygamists probably put deadbolts on their shower curtains.
Naturally, all this makes it tough for tech to break into the bathroom, since you can rarely trust it to keep the rest of the world out of wherever it establishes a beachhead. Plus, the hair dryer and curling iron have dibs on the wall plugs.
Still, there are some gadgets that might make primping more pleasant, without being as threatening or invasive as a beeping cell phone, a Wi-Fi network -- or even worse, a bidet.
If you want to watch "Deal or No Deal" with your rubber ducky, Mysoninc.com is about to offer a wall-mounted towel warmer complete with a built-in LCD television -- AND a mirror. Set up a camcorder, and watch yourself watching yourself watch yourself in the tub.
But why not be free from the towel trap altogether? The Luxury Body Dryer on display at tritonbodydryer.co.uk promises to aerate all your bits, naughty or otherwise, using hot air from above. When compared to terry cloth, the site claims this remote-controlled, breadbox-sized device will be gentler on the skin and more hygienic. It also vows to reduce humidity and can even dry off pets. Not sure how it handles their naughty bits, but that's probably something your vet should've already taken care of in the first place.
And, if you've ever wanted to tap the power of Hoover Dam while you rinse and repeat, Showerstar.net offers a shower head that lights up by tapping into the hydroelectric power produced as the water shoots out. For those willing to let a special someone behind the curtain, mood lighting is also available in various colors.
Such devices might be able to get past the velvet ropes and into the exclusive club that is the Digital Slob bathroom, as long as they don't try to sneak their chattier gadget friends in with them.