The Goddess Speaks Debra Evans

---

Lacy red bra perfect attire for mammogram

IT ALL STARTED with a print ad from one of my women's magazines. A lithe, beautiful model in lacy red underwear lounged across the page. Red underwear was something I had never owned. I imagined it took a brave and gutsy woman to wear red, and red underwear, well what can I say? So in one impulsive decision I decided I had to get me one.

Anyone who has ever braved the lingerie department of any store will have to agree that the choices are daunting. All those brand names, the styles -- push up, wonder, demi, full, under wire, no wire, and then the colors!

I made my way down the aisles, and suddenly I saw it: a perfectly styled demi-bra edged with lace in a perfect shade of red. Not red-orange or maroon, but a simple, gorgeous red.

It's a special feeling for women to wear something pretty underneath. And because it's not on public view, wearing it makes a woman feel sexy and beautiful, which is exactly how it made me feel.

It would all be so serendipitous. Three days later my phone would ring -- my gynecologist's office telling me I needed to schedule another mammogram. Seems as though several lumps were detected in one breast and a suspicious mass in the other. I was told not to worry. That more than half of the women who get annual mammograms have to return for re-screening. More often than not, it isn't serious, but it's better to check and be sure, the nurse reassured me.

I know. And they are absolutely right. This has happened to me before, so you'd think I wouldn't be too worried. But no. As my appointment date loomed closer, I felt the anxiety lurking, waiting to overwhelm me. But I was still intact and in control. Or so I told myself.

I thought back to the first time I was asked to retake a mammogram. A small lump was found, a biopsy scheduled. In the end all was well -- it was not cancerous. The wait, however, was excruciating. My heart cried every night at the mere thought that cancer might have invaded that part of my body that was so much a part of my womanhood. When I found out all was well, relief and joy flooded through me.

So there I was, two years later, facing the same demon. This time, both breasts were involved. The worry was twofold, no pun intended. And the fear seemed even greater.

I pulled out my pretty red-lace bra and thought, "What better time than now to wear this beautiful piece of lingerie?" How sexy and feminine all that lace made me feel, and I forgot for that moment what might lie ahead. All I saw was my beautiful body dressed in the prettiest lace underwear in the most gorgeous shade of red. I thought of courage, bravery and spunk, of guts and tremendous spirit, all those traits that I associated with the color red. It made me smile. My heart smiled, too, and for that moment all was well.

Three weeks later, after three biopsies and much anxiety, once again the heavens smiled, and I was told that all was well. Not so strangely, the color red has new meaning for me and is a color I wear every chance I get.

---