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Sidelines
Kalani Simpson
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Unattended Hawaii Bowl allows Halawa to enjoy a truly silent night
TWAS the day before Christmas, and all through the stadium
weren't many creatures stirring, '
but my bosses
(I think they're Canadian) ...
"Get out there," said they
"Get out and cover this game!"
"But there's no local interest," said I
"It just isn't the same."
Of course, I knew there was one angle, but felt apprehensive
doing the 15th story this week
'bout poor Caleb Spencer.
There's Pack coach Chris Ault
And O'Leary, whom
I haven't felt like I know
since he changed his resume.
READER ONE: Isn't it pronounced "résumé"?
READER TWO: Forget it, he's rhyming.
Yes, there's the WAC's Ault
the man has tough innards
he's come out of retirement
more times than Sugar Ray Leonard.
George O'Leary took UCF to 8 wins from none
that never gets old
maybe he'll change the color
to silver, from gold
So I went to the game
in my kerchief and cap
I had to hear what it sounds like
when 8,000 clap.
On Mitchell! On Spencer! On Hubbard! On Flowers!
Good Lord, don't let it last for more than 4 hours.
On Smith! On Moffett!
Stay in-bounds, Golden Knights
I gotta go home, go hook up more Christmas lights.
It was a heck of a game
all went according to plan
until a shanked punt
landed in the trash can.
(True story.)
READER ONE: Isn't this the worst oration you've ever heard regarding a Hawaii postseason bowl game?
READER TWO: "I asked Nick Rolovich ..."
First UCF made a great play
then Nevada the same
here comes WAC commish Karl Benson
"Isn't this a great game?"
The crowd was surprising
(maybe some showed up late)
the stands kind of looked
like UH-New Mexico State.
They said 16,000
I don't know about that
sounds like a present
out of Santa's red sack.
READER ONE: All I want for Christmas is for this guy to wrap it up.
READER TWO: God bless us, every one.
This bowl was a great one
O'Leary called it "an outstanding trip."
There were big hits and OT and a missed extra-point kick.
In the end there was drama
in the end there were tears
thank goodness it ended
in time for New Year's.
This bowl was the best one
the action, red-hot
but please, couldn't they give us
a better time slot?
READER ONE: I agree with him on that one.
READER TWO: At least he didn't try to rhyme "extra mile" with "Jim Donovan smiled." Wait, here comes the end ...
The Wolf Pack were joyful
they did a great Christmas dance
I always knew that Craig James
wasn't wearing long pants.