Secrets to Success Deborah Cole Micek and John-Paul Micek

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Get a clue from the new reality show

Just when I grew tired of reality shows, along came "The Apprentice," starring Donald Trump. More recently, a repackaged version of The Apprentice has been introduced, this time with Martha Stewart sitting on the other side of the boardroom table asking one potential candidate for the job to leave in each episode.

Your coaching tip

Choose either one of The Apprentice shows. Watch it. Analyze the interpersonal dynamics. Note what it is that lands each team in the boardroom. And keep a journal about what caused the candidate to "get fired" each week. Then analyze your results at the end of the season to see what conclusions you come up with.

If you complete this type of research this season, you'll have advanced insight over others who think their success formula is based solely on technical skills.

Count how often people are fired based on their ability to mesh with their team, compared to outright incompetence. You may be very surprised at the ratio. More often than people care to admit, people get fired for their inability to influence others, or to get along with their peers and/or supervisor.

To prevent this from occurring in your department, pay close attention to how well you get along with your peers. Put concentrated effort into increasing your communication skills.

There are things you can do to adapt your communication style to influence others to your point of view. Or you can ignore them and not make it to the boardroom. Ultimately, it's your choice.

But, I can guarantee you one thing. The employees who spend just as much time brushing up on their interpersonal skills as they do on their technical proficiency will always have the lead -- ahead of those who ignore "soft skills training."

Each of us has a unique combination of communication styles which forms our own behavioral fingerprint. It feels natural and comfortable. But, when you communicate with others who have a different style, it's critically important to find out how to adapt to them so THEY feel comfortable.

If you find yourself saying, "This is who I am. I can't change it," you have your first clue that you are not acting proactively in your communication with others.

Anytime I coach a business professional who is struggling with communicating effectively, whether with her coworkers or team, I'll encourage her to take personal responsibility.

It is a basic human tendency to place blame or to feel that the other person should adapt to us. However, a true leader will always take ownership of the challenge and discover ways to negotiate through each conflict or misunderstanding to work together more effectively in the future.