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Under the Sun
Cynthia Oi
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Some not so great expectations for newcomers
THE Internet can work like a giant phone book where no one is unlisted. Reaching out to touch someone has become a matter of a few keystrokes transmitted through the ether.
It's all too easy, if you ask me.
Out of the blue, an acquaintance from years past e-mailed recently to seek advice. This fellow was a not-so-close friend of a one-time friend, a guy I'd met maybe a couple of times more than two decades ago. Through the wizardry of Google, he'd tracked me down.
He said he was thinking of moving to Hawaii and wanted to get the lowdown about life in the islands. I don't mind passing on information, but I wonder how my advice and opinions fit with his goals and his objectives in transplanting himself here since I really don't know much about him and he about me.
Whatever elements either of us can recall, however, would be more substantial than that of a woman who also e-mailed several months back, asking for similar counsel. She said she and her husband hoped to retire in Hawaii, having visited Oahu and Kauai in the early 1980s. She had picked my name off the Star-Bulletin's Web site because she saw I write a column; why that lends me more expertise than others is beyond me.
I begged off, saying I did not feel I was capable of recommending Lihue over Kailua or vice versa as a suitable place for them to settle down even though she had described their likes and dislikes, food and landscape preferences, hobbies and leisure activities.
Instead, I suggested she look through Web sites and magazines and that she read newspapers and other material to get a sense of the two islands so she and her husband could decide for themselves.
That didn't go over well. I got a "thanks for nothing" missive and that was the end of our relationship.
In truth, I'm not sure I want to encourage more people to migrate to Hawaii when we can barely deal with the numbers already here. But short of seceding from the nation, there is no way to stop people from bulking up the population.
So if they are hell-bent on coming to live here, to the not-so-close friend of a one-time friend and to the soon-to-retire couple, here's what you can look forward to.
Expect to pay megabucks for a small house on a small lot in a sprawling suburb where a car -- which will cost maybe a couple of hundred a month to fill up with gasoline -- is a necessity to get to grocery stores, doctors' offices, movie malls and back, unless you've got the time and fortitude to travel by bus.
Expect traffic jams on all freeways at all times of the day, except from about midnight to 4 a.m. on weekends.
Expect to pay more for everything from white bread to brown rice, from "Hawaiian" shirts to pleated khaki shorts, from Ivory soap to electricity.
Expect that government services will be as efficient and absent of pesky bureaucracy as those in Nevada or Minnesota. Expect that politicians, no matter what their brand, will behave just like the ones in Florida or Texas or Ohio.
Expect the clamor of a city to give way to rustling forests with just a peppering of native trees. Expect the soothing sounds of waves as they surge over beaches of sand and litter. Expect the chirping of millions of birds, few of them indigenous.
Expect people to speak differently with a lilting inflection and strange vocabulary. Expect that most will be congenial, though not all of the time.
Don't expect a paradise found, just one where all is not lost.
See the
Columnists section for some past articles.
Cynthia Oi has been on the staff of the Star-Bulletin since 1976. She can be reached at:
coi@starbulletin.com.