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Honolulu Lite
Charles Memminger






Not much has
changed in 100 years

A mainland reader, perhaps noting our Sunday coverage of Honolulu's centennial tomorrow, sent me a list of statistics from the year 1905 to remind us all how much (or how little) things have changed in 100 years.

In the year 1905 ...

» The average life expectancy was 47 years. (When you were 47, you looked 80; when you were 30, you looked 60; and when you were 13, you looked like Sir Bob Geldof today.)

» The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph. (Which happens to be the maximum speed reached today on the H-1 freeway during "rush" hour.)

» Only 8 percent of homes had a telephone. (Today, 100 percent of homes have eight phones.)

» Only 14 percent of homes had a bathtub. (Bathers were very friendly back then.)

» Alabama, Mississippi and Tennessee each were more heavily populated than California. (The population shifted when marrying cousins was outlawed in the so-called "banjo belt.")

» The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower. (The second tallest was William Howard Taft.)

» The average wage was 22 cents per hour. (Of course, the average hour was only 22 minutes.)

» More than 95 percent of all births took place at home. (Back then, HMO stood for "Help Mom Operate.")

» About 90 percent of doctors had no college education. (Which might explain the home birthrate.)

» Coffee was 15 cents a pound. (The most popular coffee shop was called Starcents.)

» Most women washed their hair only once a month and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo. (You know what a good borax and egg yolk shampoo would run you in a beauty salon today?)

» Diarrhea was the third leading cause of death. (The fourth was living next door to someone so afflicted.)

» The American flag had only 45 stars. (But under consideration were three question marks, an asterisk and a smiley face.)

» Hawaii, Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico and Alaska hadn't been admitted to the Union yet. (They were waiting for Alabama, Mississippi and Tennessee to secede.)

» The population of Las Vegas was only 30. (That year, the World Series of Poker was still known as the World Series of Solitaire.)

» Two out of 10 adults couldn't read or write. (But because they couldn't read or write, they didn't realize that.)

» Marijuana, heroin and morphine were available over the counter at corner drugstores. (Now they are all available at corner drug dealers.)

» There were only 230 murders reported in the entire United States. (Today there are 230 reported murders a year in police stations alone.)

All joking aside, it's amazing to see how far we've come in only 100 years. Imagine: Today a 55-year-old man (with a life expectancy of 110) could call the hospital from one of his eight phones, then whisk his 60-year-old pregnant wife out of one of their five bathtubs and drive 100 mph to a hospital where a doctor who actually graduated from college will deliver a child who will soon be paid $10 minimum wage to deliver $6 coffees to diarrhea-free corner marijuana dealers. What a world!


Charles Memminger, the National Society of Newspaper Columnists' 2004 First Place Award winner for humor writing, appears Sundays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com and cmemminger@hawaii.rr.com

See the Columnists section for some past articles.



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