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My Kind of Town
Don Chapman






A matter of FUBAR

» UH-Windward

Students dropped out early and often as Professor Young explained what they'd be covering in Journalism 101, and what was expected.

"You have to spell correctly and do, like, actual punctuation and stuff? I thought that's what editors were for," one guy said as he left.

"Deadlines? Every day? Hnnph!" a girl in tight jeans said, aghast.

"Just the facts, no opinions? What's the point?" added a departing third. He was cleancut, and would have to find another way to CNN or Fox News, whichever way his unstated opining veered.

And when Mrs. Young mentioned a recent study of American high school students in which one-third of them said that newspapers, magazines and TV news should get government approval before publishing or airing any story, the young Marine Fatima bin Laden had her eyes on from the back row nodded and muttered, "They might get it right more often that way."

"I take it you have, um, issues with the media, Mr. ... I'm sorry, your name?"

"Lt. Basel Zakly Faris, USMC."

In the back row, Fatima swooned. She was right, he was Arabic! And what a beautiful name! It meant pure-brave-perspicacious.

But in the next heartbeat she feared that he, too, would get up and leave, or perhaps be dispatched by the professor.

"I was in Afghanistan, and I know for a fact that some of the reporting was bad, counter-productive and, worst, often just plain wrong," he said.

This took Fatima aback. Basel Zakly Faris had taken up arms against fellow Muslims. He'd been part of the hunt for her uncle!

"How much trust do you have, lieutenant, in the government's ability to act in the public good, to promote all views, including those contrary to the administration or any other?"

"Well," he replied with a grin, "we have a term in the Marines, FUBAR, meaning things are, shall we say, messed up beyond all recognition. And I'd have to say that a lot of what the government does is totally FUBAR."

"I know the term, thank you," Prof. Young said, beginning to blush.

Fatima didn't know "fubar," but guessed it was not a compliment, pleased her Marine was speaking openly and critically of the U.S. government. He was ripe for recruiting to take action against America with her.

"For those of you who are still here," Prof. Young said, "I'd like to break you up into groups. I'm going to pass out copies of today's daily papers and ask you to compare and evaluate what each is doing on Page One, and why."

She counted students as teachers have for eons, 1-2-3-4, starting in the back row with Fatima. The Marine was the last to be numbered, and he too was a one. "Odd man out -- you can choose your group."

"I'm very loyal, ma'am. Once a one, always a one."


See the Columnists section for some past articles.

Don Chapman is editor of MidWeek. His serialized novel runs daily in the Star-Bulletin. He can be e-mailed at dchapman@midweek.com



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