Kalani Simpson Sidelines

Kalani Simpson

Friday, November 12, 2004

Comments reach
next level

DEAR sports columnist:

About that 69-3 "next level" column ...

» "You are soooo correct. Mr. Jones should worry about coaching his team. Not to worry about the fight song, entry song, emblem. This is about football and winning and UH tradition. ... What excuse next? Hold six season tickets and haven't been to one game since the Joe Moore flap."

COMMENT: Oh, so that was your empty seat Saturday ...

» "Once again your fair-weather bandwagon sarcasm, negativity and anti-Jones banter has risen to the top of the manure pile. We hope you find your peace soon and retire."

COMMENT: Me, too. We share a common goal: my early retirement. If you could just come up with enough for a good buyout package, together we can make this happen.

» "And is it just a coincidence that Manoa is flooding. Jones has no ark ... and we are all waiting for the Rainbow(s) to appear?"

COMMENT: I have never heard football commentary so ... biblical.

» "I have seen the good times and the bad when it comes to Hawaii football. I attended UH and love the school and cheer for them with all my heart and soul. Now, with that being said, June Jones needs to come to the quick realization that the WAC has figured him out and he has become as predictable as the tuna sandwich my mom would pack for me in my brown bag lunch for school."

COMMENT: (Speechless.)

» "Now I know you are independently wealthy, and do not need this job."

COMMENT: What? What do you mean? Ohhhhhh. ... Oops.

On the depression of a tough season ...

» "I needed to send this e-mail. No one around gives a hoot about Hawaii football, let alone American football. I am in Luxembourg (the country) and darn it's cold. You gotta see my hotel room. This one is the first for me. Pink. The bedspread is pink. The throw rugs are pink. The curtains are pink. The lampshade is pink. The small table in the room has a pink cloth over it."

COMMENT: Now you know how Bob Wagner felt.

We Fresnoans (Fresnans?) aren't a bunch of screwdriver-wielding maniacs! Well, most of us ...

» "We know all about the negative approach as we had to endure (former Fresno Bee columnist) John Canzano for several years. Thank goodness he has moved north and is now one of the most despised people in the entire state of Oregon. Hey, what a success story! Canzano has moved from being one of the most disliked individuals in a single city to taking on the hatred of an entire state. Good for him!"

COMMENT: An entire state, you say ...

» "What an ugly piece!! Fan intimidation of the opponent is all part of College Football but your story is without merit & totally overblown."

COMMENT: Fan intimidation of the opponent is all part of college football? Disturbing. But the guy was also nice enough to direct me to his full critique of the "screwdriver" column on the Internet at the FSU fan "Bark Board." Where another poster added this reaction:

"Kinda funny article even though the guy is a 'tool.' "

See the Columnists section for some past articles.

Kalani Simpson can be reached at ksimpson@starbulletin.com



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