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Hilo urinal use etiquette
is no big feet

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'Hugh from Hilo" writes: "I viewed a public sign, obviously prepared officially, last Saturday at the men's room at the Hilo Civic Auditorium during a break from supervising my daughter and her friends at the 54th Hawaii County Fair.

"It read: 'Please do not wash your feet in the urinal.'

"Now, does that mean the toilet is OK? And should one conclude that you not wash your hands or face in the urinal?"

Great questions, Hugh. But the etiquette of urinal usage is not all that complicated. Urinals, except apparently in Hilo, generally are not used to wash any parts of the body. The fact that a sign must be posted there specific to the washing of feet seems to indicate some confusion on this point. The etiquette regarding what to do if you come across someone washing their feet or any other appendage in a urinal is simple: Flee. Flee for you life.

And now the news ...

When dinner turns fowl

BLUEWELL, W. Va. (AP) » A family meal erupted into a gun battle after a father and son clashed over how to cook chicken.

The two men began to argue over how to cook skinless chicken, started fighting and then went for guns. The son was hit in the head with a .22 caliber bullet, the father was not injured.

(Pardon me while I stick a few rounds in my AK-47 ... click, click, there. Now, all I have to say about this is: Deep Fried. You got a problem with that?)

Cats to begin rat patrol

MONTERREY, Mexico (AP) » Health authorities in the northern state of Chihuahua said they are recruiting hundreds of cats to fight hundreds of thousands of rats.

They hope to send about 700 cats to a village in the rugged Tarahumara mountains where there are about a half-million rats.

They are asking for donations of cats for the effort. So far they have 50.

(Another example of why Chihuahua dogs are completely useless. I mean, you're IN Chihuahua and the damn Chihuahuas can't keep the rats at bay? It's pathetic.)

Lake squirrels wiped out

GRAND HAVEN, Mich. » Authorities are trying to discover why dozens of squirrels are washing up dead on West Michigan beaches, Wood TV 8 reports.

Some believe farmers are trapping the sometimes nuisance squirrels and throwing them into the Grand River. But Michigan State University scientists will test the dead squirrels for West Nile Virus and various poisons.

(The only clue so far is that along with the dead squirrels, there also are dozens of small surfboards littering the beach.)

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Honolulu Lite on Sunday:

You'll never guess what natural product, of which there is a more than plentiful supply in nature, now is being synthesized. See Sunday's Honolulu Lite to find out what it is. (Hint: It's No. 1!)

Quote Me On This (Department of Huh?):

"The lie is the basic building block of good manners." -- Quintin Crisp

"To succeed in life it is not enough to be stupid. One must be well-mannered as well." -- Bonar Thompson

"I'd hate to drown. You look so awful afterward." -- Alan Ayckbourn

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