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VH1
The new crop of weirdo celebrities forced to live together for "The Surreal Life."


Here comes another
family of dysfunctionals


WHAT happens when you cross a loony rapper with an equally unhinged flamenco icon, toss in a wild, bare-breasted celebrity and an aspiring vocalist with a pair of fading stars? Try the third season of "The Surreal Life" the topsy-turvy reality series which places an outrageously mismatched cast of celebrities together under one roof.

"The Surreal Life":
7 p.m. Sunday on VH1

The show, which began in 2002 featuring such divergent personalities as MC Hammer, Emmanuel Lewis and Vince Neil, then upped the ante the following year with Tammy Faye Baker, Ron Jeremy and Vanilla Ice, returns with another batch of unsuitable roomies on VH1, after two seasons on the WB network. Its first episode premieres Sunday.

This year's cast includes pop icon Charo, whose noteworthy accomplishments include landing more appearances on " The Love Boat" than any other celebrity; bugged-out sidekick for hip-hop pioneers Public Enemy, Flavor Flav; Danish fashion model and action heroine Brigitte Nielsen; Dave Coulier of "Full House" and "America's Funniest People" fame; ex-boy band star Jordan Knight of New Kids on the Block; and American Idol season one finalist Ryan Starr.

Ultra-fab palatial digs in the Hollywood Hills apparently aren't enough to keep this group pacified, as the bickering begins as soon as our subjects must decide where to bunk. As Charo quickly nabs the plush master bedroom, Knight and Starr haggle over sleeping quarters. Coulter soon finds himself sleeping in a closet to escape Flavor Flav's intolerable snoring fits, while hard-drinking Nielsen lays her head wherever she passes out.

VH1 promises a season full of startling discoveries and emotional conflict as the group takes a road trip to San Diego, records a single and visits a haunted hospital. In between, a shocking love affair ensues and tempers come to a boil.

Starr eventually disses Flav in one episode, saying "I think he's really rude and very disrespectful. I just turned on the bitch switch and completely turned him off. I'm done. I don't like him. I can't wait to get him out of my life."

Knight, meanwhile, has his eye on Starr -- "Ryan is hot," he says. "She's hot. I wouldn't mind getting in the jacuzzi with her."

To complicate matters, Charo often rides a fine line between assertiveness and bossiness, while Knight appears to be something of a recluse ("I think I have people phobia," he says.) and Nielsen exhibits a disarming practice of strolling about the house topless.

"Brigitte is marching to the tune of her own drummer," notes Coulier. "And that drummer has no clothes on."




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