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Kalani Simpson Sidelines

Kalani Simpson


Amazing Grace allowed
to love sports again


IT'S never easy to lose a teammate.

Grace Wen said goodbye to these sports pages last week. She was always determined and always tough. She knew volleyball and loved it. Her eye picked up things most people never see.

But she decided that the life of a sportswriter isn't for her after all: the more than occasional early morning after the almost every late night. The never-ending stress of always worrying about getting beat on a scoop, of summing up an epic game in 15 minutes or less. Spending the rest of her days working weekends and waiting for people to come out of a locker room.

That's a good thing to find out now, before you end up like me.

So she made a tough decision. And she says she hasn't felt this good in a long time.

She can even be a sports fan again, now.

That's terrific. But we'll still miss her.

"Grace, I'm so sad," I said when I heard.

And she said, "Do you want half my cookie?"

She pulled out an oatmeal-chocolate chip the size of a dinner plate.

People who know Grace will appreciate that story.

Because she is that sweet.

And Grace is never unarmed when it comes to sugar-filled snack treats.

>> It's official: When I do get my own personal theme music, it will be available for your listening pleasure on starbulletin.com.

>> I have also been reminded that I already have my own personal theme music. Whenever Star-Bulletin sports utility ace Jerry Campany reads my column for editing he sings out "Side! Liiiiines!" to the tune of the 1980s rap classic "White Lines (Don't Do it)" by Grandmaster Flash.

Then he says, "Lines of pure passion!"

Jerry is an unusual guy.

>> Speaking of personal sports theme music, Bill Cosby did a comedy routine in which he recalled that he and all his friends had their own "music" when they raced go-carts as kids.

One boy sang out the "Lone Ranger" song as he sped down the hill at 100 mph. Another liked the "Green Hornet" TV show theme, so he made buzzing noises during the race.

Young Bill's music was, "Nanananananaaaaa ... Nananananaaaaa!"

>> Lisa Rosa, mom of Landon and Tyson Kafentzis (whose dad is Mark, and whose uncles are Kent, Kurt, Kyle and Sean) will be in town this week to see the continuation of a football tradition -- her sons' first game in UH uniforms. And she and her youngest son will be hoping to meet your friend and mine, that insane Hawaii "superfan," Rainbow Joe. (You will recall that Rainbow Joe -- who models himself after George Wendt in the Saturday Night Live "Da Bearsss!" sketches -- uses any excuse to work the word "Kafentzis" into everyday conversation.)

>> Who knew that Rainbow Joe is really Joe Moore? (You will recall that Rainbow Joe's car horn plays "Hawaii 5-0.")

>> The last word on the new UH music, from one unnamed reviewer: "It reminds me of the Consolidated Theatres (promo). I feel like I'm going to a movie."



See the Columnists section for some past articles.

Kalani Simpson can be reached at ksimpson@starbulletin.com

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