Kalani Simpson Sidelines

Kalani Simpson

Friday, August 20, 2004

Olympic sobs, bikinis
and ‘the stiff-arm’

THE Olympics always get me. This year, I was cynical. I did not care. Wasn't interested. Was unconcerned.

And yet, it never fails.

I watch NBC for more than 15 minutes and I'm on the floor, weeping uncontrollably.

Curse that Al Trautwig.

The beach volleybal dancers are joined by the Olympic mascot Athina as they entertain the crowd during the 2004 Olympic Games at the Olympic Beach Volleyball Centre in Athens, Greece on Wednesday.

Australia's Nicole Sanderson holds her hand to her face after losing to Germany 21-10 and 22-20 during the 2004 Olympic Games at the Olympic Beach Volleyball Centre in Athens, Greece on Wednesday

» OK, so at the Olympics the dancing girls in bikinis are offensive to the sensibilities of the ... athletes in bikinis? Hmmm. We can't have someone else be the sexiest thing on the beach. Might hurt endorsements. Which reminds me: Why do women indoor volleyball players wear skin-tight panty things while the men seem to dig and dive and jump just fine in baggy shorts? Hmmm. It's a mystery.

» Olympic beach volleyball? Personally I'm more interested in Olympic badminton. Or Olympic 2-on-2 pickup hoops. Or Olympic FLAG FOOTBALL, FOR GOODNESS SAKE.

Or Olympic "chicken fight" thumb wrestling.

» Here, from the e-mailbox: "Re: Your 8/17 article: Just for you information; Evan Dobelle's son is an avid squash player."

Of course.

» And this, from the Omaha paper, noting that Nebraska makes a rare, rare, rare start left out of the preseason Top 25: "Look at the bright side: At least the Huskers are ranked ahead of Boise State."

» Remember Klaus Barth, the former triathlete who is fighting the odds against a devastating form of brain cancer and swam an emotional relay leg in Sunday's Ironman Revisited? He apparently also fled East Germany when he was a young man, when you had to flee (and when there was an East Germany). This guy is one of the toughest human beings ever.

And who better to flee a Communist country than a future triathlete? He could swim, bike or run!

» So is supersnapper Bryce Runge part of the usual Everybody Will Play On Sundays UH hype, or is he as good as advertised?

Well ... "At first when I came out here I was just in the vicinity of the jersey," he said last week.

He's a scholarship snapper and he's in the vicinity?

But don't panic. He got a few tips from Mouse Davis and immediately "it totally enhanced my snapping ability."

I was worried for a second.

» Nate Ilaoa and West Keli'ikipi are both still getting into shape? Their returns to action were supposed to be a big reason why the Hawaii offense was going to explode this season.

» In every story I'm still surprised to read that Keli'ikipi ran for "only" 254 yards last year. For some reason I remember him running over everybody. That stiff-arm at USC had to have been worth at least an extra 50 yards.

» Didn't some columnist guy somewhere write that Tyson was coming to town?

See the Columnists section for some past articles.

Kalani Simpson can be reached at ksimpson@starbulletin.com



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