DAVID SWANN / DSWANN@STARBULLETIN.COM
Buried alive
A support group helps clutterers
clear away the junk and open up
their lives
Most people have no problems throwing out boxes and bags after shopping expeditions, but for some, tossing out such potentially useful treasures is not only wasteful, but frightening. After all, you never know when those objects will come in handy.
All those odds and ends would be manageable if we could all live in museum-size palaces where every piece of ribbon and empty thread spool -- so great for children's art projects! -- could be categorized and stored. Unfortunately, most of us live in cramped quarters and all that "treasure," to the rest of the world, just looks like clutter. And too much clutter can make a person feel stuck.
According to those in the know, the overwhelming stacks of "stuff" can stop someone from moving ahead, keep ideas from flowing and can even cause a person to live in the past.
Fight the clutter
Visit Mike Nelson's Web sites, www.clutterless.org or www.clutterbusters.net, for information on local meetings. The next Clutterbusters meeting takes place 2 to 4 p.m. next Saturday.Meetings are usually held the first Saturday of each month at Harris United Methodist Church. There is a one-time annual fee of $10 and a suggested donation of $1 per meeting thereafter to cover refreshments and materials.
"Some people may not have guests in their house. They have stuff stacked from the floor to the ceiling," said David Tasaka, co-founder of Clutterbusters.
Tasaka decided to help start the group as a way to conquer his own clutter problem after speaking to many others sharing his frustration. Many clutterers can live with their own stacks, but the problem worsens when the clutter starts to affect others, he said. An example is when cars can no longer be parked in a family garage transformed into storage room.
Clutterbusters support group members share their clutter problems and explore methods to help conquer their pack-rat tendencies. "We try to give our members insight on what they can do to make some kind of dent in the problem," said Tasaka, who has made progress but admits he is still trying to clean up his act.
"Everyone has had the experience of throwing away something that was needed later," said Tom Moore, co-founder of Clutterbusters. "Things provide a sense of security. They are dependable. It's like an attachment disorder. The stuff is relatively secure and doesn't yell at you."
The group offers an empathetic and compassionate support system, they explained. "If we could have done it by ourselves, we would have. We have been dealing with clutter most of our lives," Tasaka said. "It's kind of a secretive thing ... hidden and shameful."
Accountability helps the cleanup process along, he added. "Everyone is in the same boat. If we laugh, we laugh with them, not at them. There is no blame," he said.
"It provides a safe haven to share concerns. They won't be made wrong for the problem," Moore said. "There is no value in a pity party. The fundamental theme is encouragement."
For those who live with a clutterer, Tasaka advises to refrain from being judgmental. Encouragement is much more effective than nagging, he said.
TASAKA AND MOORE explained that it is common for clutterers to have multiple storage units. New storage facilities have been popping up all over the place, so we figured other people must have similar problems, Tasaka said.
"It's so overwhelming that it is paralyzing," Moore said. "The clutter keeps other things away from you, like success or relationships."
Moore's wife took pictures of his stacks that included magazines, paper and old computer parts.
"We have discovered it is a nonlogical experience," Tasaka said. Yet, he also knows clutterers perceive benefit in keeping things. "We know one gal who has kept 40 years' worth of tax returns."
Serious hoarding is also common and more severe than some people realize, Tasaka said.
Francean McClain admits to harboring a month's worth of food and water. "I have bottles of water under the sink and a month's worth of power bars. You never know what kind of disaster can strike. You may not get a check, you could lose a job or a hurricane could hit."
In spite of her excess baggage, she managed to move from a small room to a larger one-bedroom apartment. Although she had ample opportunity to get rid of things before the move, she found it difficult to part with any of her belongings.
"Others do not have such messy lives, but I love my stuff," McClain said. "Every object enriches my life. It supports me in my lifestyle and loves me back."
McClain's wheelchair broke down one night, and she was thankful for a large box of old, spare parts that she had saved.
"There was a time when I lived out of a knapsack, she explained. "I would love to have a beautiful, Spartan apartment. If I didn't have all this stuff, I'd feel a lot freer and have more space."
But at the same time, she said, "We live in a prosperous country and can afford all of the goodies."
She decided it was time for a change when she realized she was "living in an old lady's apartment." Delivering papers as a youngster, she saw these types of homes, "with 10,000 old newspapers, about 20,000 books and a big collection of ceramic figurines."
She has made a great dent, noting that paper stacks can invite unwanted vermin, silverfish and cockroaches.
The Clutterbusters meetings have made a difference, McClain said. "I'm willing to admit that I have a problem. The meetings have given me a lot of things to think about. I don't want to turn into a fire hazard. Stuff creeps and multiplies when you are not watching."
Great religious and philosophical leaders have stated that our attachment to our stuff is what is ruining our lives, she added.
MIKE NELSON, author of "Stop Clutter from Wrecking Your Family," "Stop Clutter from Stealing Your Life" and "Clutter-Proof Your Business," also helps people set up support and recovery groups nationwide.
He understands all about clutter. "My fiance threw me out," he said. "She said I loved my clutter more than I loved her."
The organizing and home shows on television make the task seem so simple, he said. Friends say that if they have a steam shovel and a weekend, they can take care of the problem.
But Nelson said: "We clutter for psychological and emotional reasons. That's why just implementing organizing techniques and the tips and tricks that seem to work for other people don't work for us."
Possessions of loved ones who died may be the most difficult to get rid of, Nelson said. He suggests mentally talking to the person and asking permission to let go of the items and keep the memory.
"We fear that if we discard the physical representation of the memory, we will forget. If it helps, take a digital photo of the item," he said. Then donate it to someone else who can use the item.
WHEN PEOPLE finally start to de-clutter, it helps them work on their depression. For most, it is the depression over a lack of control in their lives, jobs or families. Clutter can be controlled, and having more of it can help people feel better. Some who clutter may do it because it is their way of getting attention and being heard, Nelson said.
"Often, clutterers are emotionally shut down or unavailable. As we clear out the clutter, we clear out our emotional space, baggage if you will," Nelson said.
People tend to refer to those who clutter as pack rats, slobs or clutter-holics, he said. "The first step to recovery is to accept that most people don't realize how hurtful that is, but to own what we are: clutterers."
People should start cleaning up on a smaller scale to avoid being overwhelmed. "Don't find new places for items," he cautions. Otherwise, the clutter becomes like a jigsaw puzzle. "Keep rules, like only food can be kept on the table."
Liberation is what most people feel once all the stuff is gone. Anxiety and depression lessen, and lives are enhanced physically, emotionally and spiritually, said Nelson, whose books offer ways to sweep away the emotional debris.
"The problem is not your sock drawer or your filing cabinet -- it's your attitude toward your socks and files," Nelson said. "When we make physical space in our world, we make inner space. When we de-clutter, we start to feel better about ourselves.
"De-cluttering our lives is more than cleaning out junk," Nelson said. "It is clearing our spirits."
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