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Goddess mug shot The Goddess Speaks

Brandi-Ann Tanaka


Cherish caring moments
to salvage Valentine’s Day


As Valentine's Day approaches, three types of people emerge. You have the excited ones with their great plans of love and romance. Then you have the other group who wallow in the pain of loneliness. It's a constant reminder of the harsh realities of singledom, which is the reason why people date in the first place, to avoid the feeling that to be single means you're missing out on special days for special people.

Lastly, there's a group of people who simply do not care, or so they proclaim. This leaves the latter two groups in envy of the first, and all because of a commercialized holiday. For all the people in my life who have recently been mourning the upcoming Valentine's Day weekend, I dedicate this article to you:

What is love? I have been asked this question many, many times. I'm starting to realize that while everyone creates their own version of what love is, I have always believed in one thing: Love is what comes from each person who enters our lives and forever remains even after the person has gone.

I think we all get a little too caught up in what we see on television or movies. The idea of romantic love blinds us so that we begin to believe that love should be something of a fantasy -- difficult to acquire and, once received, difficult to sustain. No wonder there is so much pressure to find someone, to find "the one." But if we are open to the possibility of a different type of love, we would see how many opportunities there are to love people and to be loved everywhere you go.

I have found love in the most unexpected places at the most inconceivable moments and times. Love to me is a gift given by all I have met, whether from those you know all your life, to strangers who make a connection in one moment in time, individuals who offered kindness and compassion during the moments I needed it without me asking for it.

Out of their desire to help, each of these people came into my life leaving me with their individual stories and memories of love: the worker at McDonald's who gave me a free Happy Meal (I forgot my wallet); a young girl who worked at her parents' Chinese restaurant in downtown San Jose who told me that any time I needed them, they would be there; a guy who worked at my dorm who offered to help me carry my things and then helped me to hook up my computer; a couple I met on the plane coming from Hawaii to San Jose who stayed with me until my dad came, and gave me their name and contact information if I needed anything.

There was also a little boy who sat next to me on a New Year's flight who offered me his chips and snacks -- who insisted I take two pieces of gum -- one for the ride up and then for the ride down. He told me chewing gum helps prevent your ears from getting plugged. And an old, lonely woman who I gave a lift to and then in return gave me a hug and told me how blessed she felt that we met.

These are some of the angels who I've met only once. And these are only the strangers. Imagine the possibilities in that there are millions of people out there who, in chance meetings, offer something of themselves. On this Valentine's Day, these memories serve as a reminder of what I believe to be is true love, the type of love that connects us as human beings and the kind of love that does not expect anything in return but for the pure joy it brings another.

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone!


Brandi-Ann Tanaka is an Aiea High School graduate who is attending the Santa Clara University master's program in counseling psychology.



The Goddess Speaks is a feature column by and
about women. If you have something to say, write
"The Goddess Speaks," 7 Waterfront Plaza, Suite 210, Honolulu 96813;
or e-mail features@starbulletin.com.



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