Experts offer tips on
combating ‘holiday blues’
Islanders who are stressed, lonely or depressed during the Christmas season can take steps to relieve "holiday blues," say mental health specialists.
"Even joyful events can cause stress and so we need to remember that and focus on taking care of ourselves by using de-stressing kinds of techniques," said Maureen Wood, a professor in the University of Phoenix College of Social and Behavioral Sciences.
Wood, a marriage and family therapist, suggests taking breaks, deep breathing, being organized and making plans to deal with stressful times such as "being with relatives we're not fond of or who push our buttons."
People should take care of themselves by eating right, exercising, drinking plenty of water and getting enough sleep, Wood said.
The same advice comes from the Hawaii Psychological Association and Mental Health Association in Hawaii. They also suggest limiting alcohol intake, because excessive drinking can increase feelings of depression.
"It's OK to feel sad and feel bad, but there are a lot of alternative things people can do to get over the holiday season," said Ken Wilson, Mental Health Association executive director.
The Psychological Association is offering a free brochure, "The Road to Resilience," to help people through adversity, trauma, tragedy or stress. It is available by calling 521-8995.
"We often look forward to the holidays with anticipation and joy," said Psychological Association President Gloria Neumann. "But along with the good times, there can also be a lot of stress and worry, especially if a person has recently experienced loss of a loved one."
The Mental Health Association says "holiday blues" result from many factors: stress, fatigue, unrealistic expectations, financial problems and an inability to be with family and friends.
Demands of shopping, parties, family reunions and house guests contribute to tense feelings, the association said. Even more people suffer a letdown after the holidays because of disappointments, excess fatigue and stress.
The associations suggest keeping holiday activities manageable to reduce stress, enjoying free activities, volunteering to help others, looking to the future instead of back at "the good old days," and spending time with yourself and with caring people.
Wood suggests celebrating with family traditions and creating new ones that might be meaningful.
"A person who is divorced or has a loss might change some traditions," she said.
Connecting by teleconference or e-mail may help military families and others separated from deployed or mainland family members "to move through loss and pain and focus on the immediate family," Wood said.
She noted that she experienced Thanksgiving alone for the first time with her two daughters away at college. She decided "to honor myself by taking a nice relaxing day. I made favorite foods, mini version, and scheduled time when I knew I could speak with my family on the phone. We reminisced together, even when apart."
She also helped to organize a food drive for people with HIV/AIDS: "That made me feel I was contributing and got out of self-interests."
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Tips for coping with stress
The Psychological Association, which represents more than 300 Hawaii psychologists, also suggests reaching out to others in tips "for surviving and thriving" during the holidays. Other recommendations:>> Remember family gatherings aren't a time to resolve problems and "silence is sometimes the best answer."
>> Stay within your budget: "A heartfelt note or card can be more special than a store-bought gift."
>> Reduce nonessential activities and "don't worry about what the guests or relatives will think. Save the spring cleaning for spring."
>> Plan something if you're going to be alone so it can be beneficial.
>> Let someone know if you have special needs because of a recent loss or other circumstances.
>> "Adopt a spirit of gratitude, count your blessings and watch how they add up."
Who to call for help
People in crisis or who need mental health services can get help by calling the state ACCESS line, 832-3100; Aloha United Way's referral line, 211; or the Mental Health Association in Hawaii, 521-1846.Military families may find links to services on military Web sites: www.army.mil, www.navy.mil, www.marines.mil or www.airforce.mil; or the National Military Family Association Web site at www.nmfa.org.
