|
Alo-Ha! Friday Charles Memminger |
Christmas cake recipe
leaves chef sousedA reader forwards the following holiday recipe, which was no doubt filched off the 'Net but is timely nonetheless:
Christmas Cake
You'll need:1 cup water, 1 cup sugar, 4 eggs, 2 cups dried fruit, 1 teaspoon salt, 1 cup brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts and 1 bottle of whisky.
Sample the whisky to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check whisky again. Turn on electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again. Make sure the whisky is still OK. Cry another tup. Tune up the mixer. Beat two eggs and add to the bowl, and chuck in the drup of cied fruit. Mix on the tuner. If the fired druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it goose with a drewscriver. Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Pour one cevel lup of dhisky and wink. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon the sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin 350 degrees. Beat water vigorously and discard. Add any extra tuff left on counter to bowl. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whisky again and go to bed.
And now some holiday news:
When the reindeer slay
STOCKHOLM (AP) >> Forget poor Rudolph. It's the guy who has to herd him who has it tough.Reindeer herders have the most dangerous line of work in Sweden, according to a new study that analyzed the cause of deaths among all jobs.
One hundred fifty reindeer herders were killed between 1961 and 2000.
(The second most dangerous job is drunken elf herding.)
Colored sheep a gambol
LONDON (BBC) >> A farmer has painted zebra-style stripes on her sheep to camouflage them after rumors of a black panther on the loose.Charlotte Brayley, from Ayrshire, spray-painted her flock with green, purple and red stripes after reading about the recent panther sightings.
Brayley, who studies fine art and sculpture, said it took 15 minutes to paint each sheep.
(When reached for comment, the panther said he found the colored sheep "quite festive and delicious.")
'Honolulu Lite' on Sunday:
Just in time for holiday mailings: The "Honolulu Lite" Annual Multiple Choice Family Christmas Letter.
Quote me on this (TV Division):
"Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks." -- Eric Seva-reid
"Television is the bland leading the bland." -- Murray Schumach
"Television is chewing gum for the eyes." -- Frank Lloyd Wright
See the Columnists section for some past articles.
Charles Memminger, winner of National Society
of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears
Tuesdays, Thursdays , Fridays and Sundays.
E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com