Alo-Ha! Friday

Charles Memminger

Friday, August 22, 2003

Chapman dogged by
Mexican arrest warrant

We joked a few weeks ago that a Mexican bounty hunter named "Perro" showed up in Hawaii looking for our own pet bounty hunter Duane "Dog" Chapman, who fled Mexico after capturing an American fugitive.

Now a Mexican judge has issued an "all points bulletin" for the arrest of Dog.

It's yet to be seen if Hawaii is one of those "points," but how strange would it be if a Mexican bounty hunter DID show up here and try to take Dog into custody?

It's enough to make a Hollywood agent grow faint.

Now the news:

Cops don't get a head

LIVERPOOL, England (AP) >> Police who thought they were searching for a human head apologized after raiding the house of an artist and finding a mask made of bacon.

The police had been tipped off by a burglar who had broken into the home of artist Richard Morrison and claimed he had seen a head in a jar.

"It's obviously a very macabre piece of work, but I never expected it to get this reaction," the artist said after the raid.

(Now, the Spam torso in the basement, that's a real mind-blower.)

Chicken flies, with help

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) >> A chicken that was strapped to 100 helium balloons and sent skyward in a stunt is resting easy in an animal shelter awaiting adoption.

The chicken, nicknamed Amelia, was rescued after getting tangled in power lines during its forced flight.

A lot of people want to adopt the bird, which a shelter official described as "a great chicken, a friendly chicken and chicken that is ready for a relationship."

(A relationship with a side of fries and a smidgen of gravy.)

China's Bigfoot is No. 1

BEIJING (AP) >> China's version of Bigfoot has been spotted again, and this time may have left a urine sample.

Six people, one a radio reporter, say they saw the mythical apelike animal, which left large footprints, freshly broken branches and a "3-meter-long patch of foul-smelling urinelike liquid."

There have been more than 100 sightings of large, humanoid, apelike creatures in China.

(Most of those, however, were believed to be from China's female Olympic swimming team practicing at a facility where absolutely NO steroids were being used.)

'Honolulu Lite' on Sunday:

How did NASA's top-secret, un-tearable, indestructible sticky tape fall into the hands of the nation's bakeries?

Quote me on this:

"The freedom of the press works in such a way that there is not much freedom from it." -- Princess Grace of Monaco

See the Columnists section for some past articles.

Charles Memminger, winner of National Society
of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears
Tuesdays, Thursdays , Fridays and Sundays.


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