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Honolulu Lite Charles Memminger |
Thursday, May 8, 2003
Unlikely love trip
launched 24 years agoOn Margie's and my 24th wedding anniversary last weekend, I found myself paddling a kayak down the Hanalei River on Kauai instead of where husbands after 24 years of marriage generally find themselves -- up certain kinds of creeks without paddles.
Serendipity landed us on Kauai on this noteworthy occasion. Actually, it was a freelance writing assignment from Better Homes & Gardens magazine. All I know is that the trip wasn't coming out of my pocket, which was not just a delight, but necessary. After 24 years of marriage and deft financial planning, I have left us in the position of supporting a private school, a mortgage, an insurance company, Safeway Inc., OPEC, city, state and federal governments and several less reputable wineries.
Had the BH&G gig not dropped in my lap, we would have celebrated our anniversary with an intimate dinner for two at a corner table at Zippy's. I'm not complaining, but living in Hawaii is not for the faint of pocketbook.
Displaying my well-known charm as our little boats drifted toward romantic Hanalei Bay, I pointed out to my bride that in 24 years I had always been true to her and so had, technically, accumulated at least three "seven-year itches." My expectation of winning bonus points for extramarital restraint were dashed when Margie pointed out that she had the same number of "itches" in the bank.
I floated along enveloped in that warm, fuzzy haze of having been soundly checkmated by the love of my life and the realization that the trouble with saving up "seven-year itches" is that the older you get, the harder it is to find someone to scratch. Not that I'm looking for scratching. I was just trying to point out to her in a humorous way what a great guy she had managed to marry. I decided to shut up while I still had a paddle.
WHEN SHE GRADUATED from high school and I had finished my first year of college, we plotted to run away to Tahiti. But as some writer put it, pity stayed our hand. The pity being, we had no money.
So then we plotted to take my broken old camper van to Kansas City where I would work for my uncle in construction and she would begin a career in the exciting world of truck-stop waitressing. Say what you will about the romantic merits of K.C. vs. Tahiti, but at least we were flexible.
In the end, my dad smoked out our plans and sent Margie back to Hawaii and me to the university dorms.
After graduation we hooked up again and married. We actually took a trip to Kansas City in later life, and, upon seeing the place, Margie let out a long, retroactive "Whew, that was a close one."
Next year, on our 25th, we plan to go to Tahiti, if only to close the loop we started so long ago. To that end, any tax-deductible contributions are welcome.
Charles Memminger, winner of National Society of Newspaper Columnists awards, appears Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com
