FL MORRIS / FMORRIS@STARBULLETIN.COM Tea with and laughter with no commitment was on the agenda during a charter meeting of the Red Hat Society at Salon Du Tea Downtown.

The Red Hat Society proves
there's a lot to laugh about
after turning 50

---

By Nadine Kam
nkam@starbulletin.com

Ah, the careless days of youth. You remember staying out all night, don't you? Knowing it was "against the rules" but thrashing caution because all your friends were there, you lost track of time, and besides, you didn't drive so you were helplessly, perhaps too happily, at the mercy of your friends.

Parents understood(stand) none of this and waited red-faced at the door with a prolonged tirade of angry words accompanied by flying spit and much arm-waving that finally ended with the nonsensical, "So what if your friends want to ruin their lives? If so-and-so jumped off a cliff, would you jump, too!!?"

"No," you thought, while staring at your toes trying to comprehend this bewildering Parent Logic, and at that point you may have asked yourself a more meaningful question: Short of jumping off a cliff, how does anyone measure friendship?

By shared confidences? Shared interests? Ability to keep up a long-distance relationship? How about, simply, the willingness to make A?

Twenty-five women were prepared to do just that as they gathered Saturday at Colleen Chun's Salon du Tea Downtown for the charter meeting of the Ginger Snappers, the local chapter of the Red Hat Society.

Being a member involves no dues, no public service, no advocacy -- only that members be at least 50 and willing to wear purple and "a red hat which doesn't go." (Allowances are made for some young 'uns, who must wear lavender and harder-to-find pink hats.)

FL MORRIS / FMORRIS@STARBULLETIN.COM Connie Hart, visiting from Ohio, pours tea for the society's "Queen Bee" Lois Miller.

AND SO THEY came in dresses borrowed or new, and bowlers, boaters, derbies and sombrero Cordobes of crochet, plastic mesh, feathers and felt.

Many of the hats and outfits came from Ross' and thrift shops. Purple outfits and red hats are, apparently, in short supply as neither is particularly trendy at the moment.

Maybe she was the last to go shopping, but Dodie Powleson couldn't find a hat, so she borrowed one from Santa, wrapping it with equally Christmasy red-and-green fabric.

Rosemary Eberhardt said she couldn't believe her fortune when her daughter was about to throw out a lavender suit. "She's a lawyer, and lavender's an inappropriate color for the courts. She was going to donate it, but I said, 'Give me that!'"

Eberhardt also ended up borrowing back a vivid red wool tam-o'-shanter she'd bought her daughter in Scotland.

The secondhand jacket wasn't a perfect fit, and before leaving the house, she had wondered whether she should pin it closed at the bottom. She let it go. After all, what's an extra inch of padding among friends?

FL MORRIS / FMORRIS@STARBULLETIN.COM Lois Miller and Nola Epp are "Queen Mothers" of the local chapter of the Red Hat Society, the Ginger Snappers.

LOIS MILLER is the "Queen Bee" responsible for Hawaii society, one of 6,000 registered chapters around the world. Her purple suit was accented by a rhinestone-studded pin in the shape of a hat, and her eyeglasses were rimmed in rhinestones. In her crochet-gloved hands was a red felt purse borrowed from her granddaughter, and her hat was a stunning red-feathered number worthy of Alexis Carrington.

Miller had heard about the organization while she was living in Ohio, and decided to start up a chapter here with the help of a friend, Nola Epp, with other friends from Central Union Church.

Now retired and about to embark on her second career as a real estate saleswoman, Miller said, "It sounded like fun for women who want to greet the rest of their lives with gusto."

It's an idea that has spread quickly since Sue Ellen Cooper, of Fullerton, Calif., started the first society in 1997 after reading a poem entitled "Warning" by Jenny Joseph, which begins, "When I am an old woman ..." and speaks of letting go of the hang-ups of youth. (See poem below.)

After reading the poem, Cooper decided to give a friend a copy of it, along with a vintage red hat for her birthday. She didn't stop there. Eventually, all her friends had the poem, the red hat and nowhere to go. It just made sense one day to take their "Red Hat Society" public.

The group's statement of purpose cites its desire "to greet middle age with verve, humor and élan. We believe silliness is the comedy relief of life, and, since we are all in it together, we might as well join red-gloved hands and go for the gusto together."

"You'll see when you get (beyond age 50) that the world looks totally different," said Norma Jean Wright, who in her spare time sings with the Central Union Church choir and most recently sang with the Hawaii Opera Theatre Chorus in "Eugene Onegin."

"Things don't bother you anymore. It just frees you up."

"When they asked me to join I had to ask, 'what are the obligations, what are the duties, how often do we meet?' But they said, 'Oh, we'll just meet for lunch and laugh a lot,' and I said, 'Oh, OK.' "

BY NOW, TEA HOSTESS Colleen Chun has seen just about everything, including soldiers in fatigues sitting down to tea, so the red-hat gang didn't faze her.

"This is where grownups come to play," she said of her salon, which also doubles as a salesroom for vintage and antique jewelry and accessories, and contemporary pieces that reflect a Victorian sensibility.

"They'll walk in like they're dressed for a photo shoot with hats and boas. They'll see pieces hanging on a rack and pick it up and try it on. It's like letting out the child within us."

"What I found is, especially at Christmastime, people would give a gift of their time. One customer came every day with a different friend," Chun said. "As the world gets increasingly scarier, people are seeking out little refuges where for a time they can forget about the world out there."

Anna Goo, who wore a hat that was a gift from a 92-year-old friend, the hat is a reminder to laugh at ourselves.

"It's very therapeutic to smile. With the world as it is today, it behooves us to find humor in life. It gives you a different perspective."

BACK TO TOP
|

Warning By Jenny Joseph When I am an old woman... I shall wear purple With a red hat which doesn't go and doesn't suit me And I shall spend my pension on brandy, And summer gloves, and satin sandals, and say We've no money for butter. I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells And run my stick along public railings, And make up for the sobriety of my youth I shall go out in my slippers in the rain, and pick The flowers in other people's gardens And learn to spit You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat And eat three pounds of sausages at a go Or only bread and pickles for a week, And hoard pens and pencils and beer mats And things in boxes but Maybe I ought to practice A little now? So people who know me are not Too shocked and surprised when ... Suddenly I am old and start to wear purple!

Click for online
calendars and events.