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The Goddess Speaks

Genevieve A. Suzuki


Genevieve’s roar
silenced before prime


I've waited 27 years to hear my name. Last week, it was finally my turn. Tropical Storm Genevieve made her debut on the nightly news.

"Look, Derek! I'm on TV!" I shrieked, holding my arms up touchdown style. "Tropical Storm Genevieve!"

My husband looked up from the Longs ad long enough to glance at "T.S. Genevieve" on the weather map of the Eastern Pacific region.

"Huh," he muttered, circling the sale on Chef Boyardee ravioli.

"Whaddya mean, 'Huh'? It's my name! They've named a storm after me!"

OK, maybe not after me. It was really just the next name on the National Weather Service's alphabetical list for Eastern Pacific cyclones. Fausto came before Genevieve, which was followed by Hernan.

To be honest, I'm sure the Hernans in the world are probably much more excited.

"You're proud of a storm with your name?" a friend asked incredulously.

Hey, only telemarketers and my mother insist I have a beautiful name. "Genevieve" is a good name, but it is rarely associated with something as exciting as a tropical cyclone.

Superheroes never have alter egos named Genevieve. Romance novel heroines have names like Amanda, Serena and Elaine, while names like Winona, Gwyneth and Jennifer make up the Hollywood scene.

AFTER THE weather report, I hurried to the National Weather Service's Web site and looked up Hawaii's forecast. Genevieve wasn't near the islands, so I clicked on the Eastern Pacific region's link.

The first line under the storm's description was, "Genevieve is disorganized."

It was like reading a horoscope.

Are you a Sagittarius? You're fun-loving. Are you a Scorpio? You're intense. Are you a Genevieve? You're disorganized.

Not powerful, gusty or even staying her course, but disorganized.

"The storm is just like you," Derek said with a laugh.

Blatant jealousy. "Derek" isn't international enough to be on this year's list of names, which include Iselle and Julio.

As the days passed, I monitored Genevieve's progress the way Austin Power's Dr. Evil watched over Mini-Me. Within a couple of days, the weather service said she was dissipating.

The last time I checked, Genevieve had turned into a tropical depression off the coast of Mexico.

"So Genevieve isn't a hurricane anymore?" I asked an operator with the National Weather Service.

"Uh, I don't think it was ever a hurricane," he replied.

And though it's for the best, even my would-be hurricane didn't live up to her potential.

It'll be 2008 before this year's list of Eastern Pacific tropical cyclone names is used again. That's six years too soon for a disorganized, dissipated and depressed non-hurricane like Genevieve.



The Goddess Speaks is a column by and about
women, our strengths, weaknesses, quirks and
quandaries. If you have something to say, write it
and send it to "The Goddess Speaks," 7 Waterfront Plaza, Suite 210, Honolulu 96813; or e-mail features@starbulletin.com.





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