Honolulu Lite
It's not fair. Last week was so slow I ended up writing some far-fetched piece about pandas, of all things. Sudden public misbehavior
is write stuffNow news is breaking out all over. City Councilman Jon Yoshimura holds a press conference to admit he lied about a 2-year-old hit-and-run accident. The police brass get nabbed scarfing up expensive delectables paid for with money that was supposed to be spent on meals for prisoners. Idiot car racers chalk up another fatality on the freeway. And a shrimp truck owner allegedly gets roughed up Mafia style in a strange battle for corporate ownership.
Any one of these subjects would easily fill an entire column, which is more than I can say for pandas.
Non-story of week: Yoshimura fesses up to lying about a 1999 car accident. Actually, it wasn't much of an accident. Jon's car clipped a parked car late at night and didn't stop and leave a calling card. The only injury was to Jon's credibility as he attacked the press for being mean to him and denied he had been drinking.
It's a non-story because we all knew the truth: He had been drinking, he did crash into a parked car, he did flee the scene and he did lie to police and press about it later. It was just a matter of when he'd admit all that to the public. Which was this week. Cynics contend he's done his mea culpa now so the public has plenty of time to swallow, digest and discard such a "heartfelt" apology before Yoshimura runs for lieutenant governor in 2002.
I say he gets points for coming forward at all, unlike several other of his fellow Council buddies who continue to deny the truth regarding alleged college degrees, continuing city ordinance violations, federal criminal convictions and a myriad campaign spending violations.
Jon's only problem now is going to be sticking with his story that he had only one drink before driving on that fateful night. Jon, why would you have just one drink at that time of night? Merely to get the odor of alcohol on your breath before driving? Please.
The Pupu Police: What's with cops and food? In the old days they got free grinds at restaurants as long as they were in uniform. It was sort of instant robbery protection for the establishments.
Then off-duty cops started bringing in their families and blew the good deal. Now two high-level officers are charged with theft for allegedly using HPD funds to buy prime-rib dinners and other expensive goodies. The money was supposed to be spent on swill for the cellblock inmates.
Even the current and former police chiefs partook of the lavish dinners. Maybe they were just researching the new Pacific Police Rim Cuisine? As corruption goes, it's not exactly a Serpico moment. But it makes the police look tawdry and, most of all, cheap. As usual, the poor taste of a few will splash the gravy of embarrassment on the many, or something like that.
Rats. We've run out of space. The good news is that the idiot street racers and gangland shrimp-truck enforcers will get an upcoming column all to themselves.
Alo-Ha! Friday compiles odd bits of news from Hawaii
and the world to get your weekend off to an entertaining start.
Charles Memminger also writes Honolulu Lite Mondays,
Wednesdays and Sundays. Send ideas to him at the
Honolulu Star-Bulletin, 500 Ala Moana Blvd., Suite 7-210,
Honolulu 96813, phone 235-6490 or e-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
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