Honolulu Lite


Friday, July 20, 2001

Clearing up some
column confusion

'EH, Charley, what happened, brah? You used to write about important kine stuff, but made it kinda funny? Now you just do manini news stories and quote famous dead people."

As a famous dead person once said, "I resemble that remark." I've gotten quite a few e-mails and a couple of phone calls from people are confused about the difference between my usual long-running (and long-winded) column "Honolulu Lite" with the column that appears here, "Aloha Friday." The confusion is somewhat understandable because both columns include a picture of some haole doofus with weird hair. The clue that they are two different columns (other than the subtle variation in titles) is that I look goofier in one mug shot than the other.

Just to clear things up, AloHa Friday is a collection weird news bits that I dig up with commentary. I don't dig them up with commentary, actually, I dig them up and then ADD commentary. But it's also a place where you can submit strange, interesting or bizarre local or national items you come across. Or personal experiences. Anything to bring a small smile to someone's face on a Friday to help them start off the weekend.

Honolulu Lite continues to run on Monday, Wednesday and Sunday. So start sending any quips, observations or weird web site addresses to me at the e-mail address below or call 235-6490.

Now to the news:

Taliban is no party party

ISLAMABAD (Reuters) >> Afghanistan's ruling Taliban movement has banned the import of items it says are un-Islamic, including playing cards, lipsticks and nail polish, pig fat products and anything made of human hair.

(Darn, that's going to put a damper on the regular Wednesday Boy's Cross Dressing Poker and Pork Rinds Night.)

A plan to ban the buzz

SAO PAULO (Reuters) >> A councilman in the Brazilian city of Cascavel has drafted a law banning gossip by public servants. "Public employees have moral rights such as the right to work in a professional environment," said Alcebiades Pereira da Silva.

(Rumor has it that Pereira da Silva soured on gossip after it was whispered he has been having an affair with an intern and was seen cavorting naked in the town's central fountain with four married women and a burro.)

Now an anger cure diet

MEXICO CITY (Reuters) >> Some of Mexico's most violent prisoners will be put on a new diet rich in iron and calcium to help curb violent behavior.

(Also on the menu will be Valium Vegetable Surprise, Huevos de Heroin Rancheros and Laudinum Liver Lyonnaise.)

Quote me on this: "I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with." -- Denis Leary (A famous LIVING person)

Alo-Ha! Friday compiles odd bits of news from Hawaii
and the world to get your weekend off to an entertaining start.
Charles Memminger also writes Honolulu Lite Mondays,
Wednesdays and Sundays. Send ideas to him at the
Honolulu Star-Bulletin, 500 Ala Moana Blvd., Suite 7-210,
Honolulu 96813, phone 235-6490 or e-mail

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