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The Goddess Speaks

Colleen Stewart-Tretter

Tuesday, June 26, 2001


Warm memories of
the islands bring tears

Watch me Auntie!" she squealed as she corkscrewed down the bright red slide. Tears filled my eyes as I caught the little girl I had met only moments before. I managed a big smile through my tears as I sent her back up the playground stairs. As my time in Hawaii is measured in mere weeks, moments like these seem to come more frequently, as if I have a heightened awakening to things I will miss ...

... such as the plumeria flower. I find myself trying to memorize the beauty and fragrance of my favorite bloom, wondering if I'll be able to recapture it in my mind.

... or the beauty of the Ko'olaus. One of the best views of a lifetime was right outside my window, but it became legendary after my first trek up the Haiku Stairs to appreciate the vision from the top.

... or the treasured Hawaiian quilting classes at The Queen Emma Summer Palace. The Serrao family has instilled a love of perpetuating the craft. My projects will continue, but it won't be the same as sewing in the energy of the circle near the banyan and hau trees.

... sitting in restaurants with my husband, while palm trees sway above and Hawaiian music filters through our souls, with the ocean waves providing a sound and a sight that is intoxicating.

... the people who work at Windward Mall, especially the ladies who make my latte when they see me coming, knowing that the air conditioning and mid-day treat helped me to survive the second sleep-deprived year with twin boys and their older brother.

... the lyrical words. The sound of "Chestnut Street" just won't be the same.

... the friendliest postal workers to be encountered across my 15 moves through seven states. The one who delivers my mail is aloha personified.

... the sight of my little boys toddling on the beach, or learning to "shaka," or wearing their "slippers" in the middle of January, and wondering if they'll feel like a part of them has been taken away when we take them away from the islands.

... my friends. My very first mommy friend came at a time when the 5,000 miles to family seemed like the distance to the moon. We survived the transition from career to stay-home status, shared pregnancies and championed each other's adjustment to three more baby boys in our lives.

Her daughter has become adored, not just by my son, and I wonder how I'll go a day without seeing her beautiful blue eyes or hearing her precious voice every day. And then came along the best neighbor of my life, who was like an angel next door, until she moved away to Kapolei and created the ache I knew I would feel when I moved back to the mainland. Then, in her angelic fashion, she ensured the next tenant would be another amazing woman whose brief time next door I have cherished.

These women and the other amazing goddesses of our "gourmet mommies" group and the Tuesday beach play dates, and every other event we can think to celebrate makes me already miss their love and fellowship, support and laughter.

... all the people who made this pale-face feel part of the 'ohana, when she so obviously wasn't.

People come and go from Hawaii every day, so my sentiments are not anything extraordinary. Moreover, my memories are not all happy; although the negatives seem to have passed through with the tradewinds. But when I think of returning to Pennsylvania, to the comfort of family and old friends, my eyes will still mist at the memory that a little girl, whose name I know not, could call me "auntie" and make me feel part of Hawaii for a short while.


Colleen Stewart-Tretter lived in Hawaii
for four years before moving to the Laurel
Mountains of Pennsylvania last month.


The Goddess Speaks runs every Tuesday
and is a column by and about women, our strengths, weaknesses,
quirks and quandaries. If you have something to say, write it and
send it to: The Goddess Speaks, the Honolulu Star-Bulletin, P.O.
Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802, or send e-mail
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