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Rant & Rave

By Jordan Macadangdang

Thursday, March 29, 2001


Films’ bathroom humor
should be flushed

I bet you can't guess what my favorite movie of all time is. I'll give you some hints: it doesn't star Adam Sandler, it doesn't have any kind of crude bathroom humor, and it doesn't have any of those rather unintelligent girls running away from some wacko killer who's seen one too many B-movies.

In fact, my all-time fave wasn't even made in the the last decade. Try five decades ago. It's "Casablanca," starring Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman, released in 1943. Who? When??? Why such an old movie?

Well, the movies that the studios are popping out these days (and an alarming rate I might add) are, quite frankly, trash. I find the comedic antics of Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and David Arquette insulting. The producers, writers and directors of movies like "Happy Gilmore," "Deuce Bigalow" and "Big Daddy," should be jailed for the money that they are making off of their movies. "Big Daddy" alone grossed more than $160 million dollars!

How did we let ourselves become content to see such garbage? I mean, how many times can you laugh at some gratuitous bathroom scene or the act of beating the crap out of people with a golf club? Sure, it's funny the first time but when that kind of content becomes a mainstay, all I can say is ... yawn. And stop wasting my money. I would be loads better off spending the $7 on a copy of Entertainment Weekly and having a laugh reading what critics really think of those movies.

Movies like the aforementioned don't do anything for me emotionally or intellectually; they are hollow and unsubstantial and fail to affect me in any way. (Wait, scratch that. I was moved to boycott movies with trailers that include any type of bodily noises or narcoleptic bowlers.)

Shouldn't a film be an insightful experience? Shouldn't I be questioning aspects of my life? What could be insightful about watching some kid take a pee on a wall? Come on Hollywood; your public is much more intelligent and deserving. Serve us something worth paying for.

Sad to say, the big bogeyman that is "the movies" today has sent me running into the arms of the American Movie Classics channel on TV. A film like "Casablanca" provides everything -- romance, intrigue, idealism and even patriotism -- that movies of today only wish they could offer. I have no problem staying home on a Friday night to catch a classic on TV. It's much more rewarding than catching most of today's top grossers, or gross-outs.


Jordan Macadangdang is a senior at
Waialua High and Intermediate School.



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