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Rant & Rave
HANABATA days were the best. I mean, who could forget playing with friends and wondering how life would turn out for us in the next decade? We had every reason to believe it would be as wonderful as our carefree childhoods, with no worries besides doing homework. Tempered by trials
of high schoolNow that decade has passed and it's unbelievable what kids go through to become adults. Gee, just thinking about all that peer pressure and trying to fit in makes me tired.
I had those early childhood moments of being teased and ragged on but I survived the beatings endured while growing up with bullies. Those childhood fights just made me stronger, and the scrapes seemed minor compared to what was to come.
The battles changed considerably as I grew older. They were no longer physical, but psychological, and every bit as hurtful as a punch.
Being a teen-ager is said to be the best time of one's life, but those years do not represent the best time for me. I had a hard time dealing with my peers while trying to find my identity and remain true to myself.
The big thing in high school was to be accepted by the popular crowd. What I found out when I reached high school was the group of friends I had back in intermediate school thought I was no longer worthy of being a part of their group. I guess I wasn't the type to be "popular."
I began getting the cold shoulder and the silent treatment and I had no clue why and then -- BOOM!!! I was a lost soul with no friends, wandering from clique to clique, feeling like an outsider in groups that I did not feel particularly close to.
I think being dubbed as a loner was scarier than feeling out of place. So I went from group to group as I sank deeper into depression, thinking that none of my peers really wanted me around. I sometimes felt like my life wasn't worthy enough and I really had a slim chance of surviving .
But, for some reason I kept going through that period of hardship. I finally found that group of friends that appreciated me for being me. It took two years for me to find a group of friends who didn't expect me to prove that I was popular.
I think everyone goes through some phase of hardship and uncertainty during their teen years. I'm just glad that I survived!
I still have a lot to learn as a young adult but I've passed all that teen stuff.
And surprisingly, I'm grateful that I was tested. I'm not happy that I had to endure the alienation, but it sure taught me a lot about myself and showed that I'm strong enough to persevere. I think that's what life is all about, living and learning as you experience those tough moments of growing up.
I'm 20 years old and I see that I've been through a lot. Hopefully, during times of renewed hardship, I'll look back at my high school years and remember that having met those challenges, I'll likely survive any other difficulties that come my way.
Out of my school dilemma, I learned something, and that is, be who you are because only you can make yourself happy. I like who I am now and I'm happy with the direction my life has taken. From now on, I'm just going to enjoy each moment as long as I can.
Looking back on life is not always full of pleasant memories, but you may be surprised by how events shape the individual you are becoming.
Cassandra Pasion is a student of
communications/public relations at Chaminade.Rant & Rave is a Tuesday Star-Bulletin feature
allowing those 12 to 22 to serve up fresh perspectives.
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