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Honolulu Lite

by Charles Memminger

Wednesday, February 2, 2000


Water bill taxes
our patience

LESS than two weeks ago we were discussing the danger that no offbeat issues would be brought forward to keep our state legislators from actually having to do anything productive this session.

I even suggested a number of issues the Legislature could consider to keep its eye off the ball. They included subjects like topless bathing at Waikiki, a surfing tax, a bankruptcy tax and a floating golf course in Honolulu Harbor.

I was naive. Our elected representatives have not lost the knack for dredging up strange ideas that have nothing to do with the most important issues of the day, namely the economy, education and the immediate imprisonment of any driver who doesn't know how to use a freeway on-ramp.

First Sen. Rod Tam stepped forward with his ground-breaking bill to provide taxpayer-financed snacks and naptime for public employees. Now Rep. Bob Nakata wants to tax water.

Along with a surfing tax and a bankruptcy tax, I once proposed an ice cube tax. The main difference between suggesting a tax on ice cubes and Nakata's water tax is that I was joking.

I've met Bob Nakata and he's a nice guy with a big heart. His proposed water tax isn't that much -- new taxes never are -- and would go to protecting our watersheds.

But he misses the point. People don't want ANY new taxes. They don't even want old taxes. They want to be able to pay their rents and mortgages and keep their businesses in business. If you tax water to protect water quality you might as well tax breathing to protect air quality. (That's a joke, Bob. Please don't propose that.)

I hope this discussion doesn't hurt Nakata's feelings the way Rod Tam's feelings were hurt. Mr. Tam was sincerely shocked by the level of mockery that followed his napping proposal.

In a letter to the editor and during a Senate floor speech Tam complained that the media and public ridicule of ideas hurts the democratic process. He's wrong. Public ridicule of ideas IS the democratic process.

I'm a big proponent of napping and practice it as often as I can. But there's a line between me napping and me paying for others to nap.

Tam wrote: "There was a time when those that aspired to fly in an airplane such as the Wright Brothers were also laughed at, but thanks to the strength of their human spirit they overcame the initial resistance and we now enjoy the convenience of airline flight."

Let's put aside the current National Transportation Safety Board investigation into the lack of convenience (i.e. crash) of that Alaska Airlines flight in California in order to explore Mr. Tam's napping/air flight analogy.

The key difference is that while the Wright Brothers invented flying; Mr. Tam did not invent napping, not even napping while on the public payroll. Furthermore, the public's "initial resistance" to flying was the fear of immediate death while the public's "initial resistance" to napping is having to endure co-workers snoring and drooling.

The Wright Brothers also pursued their dream with their own money, whereas Mr. Tam wants us to foot the bill for his vision. If Mr. Tam wants to use the Wright Brothers as a model, maybe he should quit the Senate and test his napping theories within the private sector.

In the meantime, Mr. Tam should develop another asset enjoyed by the Wright Brothers, to handle both public criticism and the inevitable crashes they endured: a thick skin.



Charles Memminger, winner of
National Society of Newspaper Columnists
awards in 1994 and 1992, writes "Honolulu Lite"
Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Write to him at the Honolulu Star-Bulletin,
P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802
or send E-mail to charley@nomayo.com or
71224.113@compuserve.com.



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