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The Goddess Speaks

By Nadine Kam

Tuesday, January 4, 2000


No-fuss approach
pays off

IT'S a good thing civilization didn't end at 12:01 a.m. Jan. 1st. A hunter-gatherer I am not I determined from the wretched state of my Y2K preparedness kit, basically a bunch of leftover Christmas candles and a bottle of Veuve Clicquot, despite warnings throughout 1999 about impending disaster.

The Doomsday forecasts resulted in a trip to Kmart Tuesday for toilet paper and two gallons of water because that's all I could carry. On the eve itself, I got a call at work from a staffer with the day off. "Don't try going to the store today. It's a madhouse! People are hopping all over the place!"

All the flighty grasshopper types had converged on grocery stores while the organized ant people were no doubt safely in their bunkers. Ant people are amazing. I heard of one man who had hoarded $1,600 in small bills for the cash transactions that would surely take place when cash registers failed. Now he's got savings going into Year 2000. A friend had urged me to start hoarding dollar bills last February and by Friday I had amassed a whopping $20 in a box at home.

My last trip to the grocery store Friday yielded all the fixings for a vat of beef and pork chili mole -- enough for a week in case of disaster tho' I of course had no ice -- and a copy of Vogue magazine, for even in a post-Apocalyptic world, I would like to remember style.

As the official heralds of all news good and bad, journalists usually can't be bothered to save themselves while trying to get the word out. Therefore, our bosses must have been trying to help when they handed out mini Maglights and a Leatherman tool kit at Christmastime. Yes, I could slice tree bark with my Leatherman, tweeze the splinters from my thumbs and file my fingernails after starting a fire and building a hut with salvaged house parts. That's what I've seen on film anyway.

HOW many others barricaded themselves at home? (A hotel probably would have been safer from the rain of bullets, but there was the problem of what to do with the dog.) If the world was going to end, better to see it coming on CNN.

As city after city lit up with fireworks, however, there was no doom and gloom, only one giant global party.

I imagine the people having the last laugh are those in their teen and twenties. They must wonder why middle-aged crazies invested so much time in pursuit of such drama.

There is a reason.

I was about 10 or 11 when I first contemplated the possibilities of the Year 2000, a magical number. I calculated that I would be 40, and that number dashed further speculation. Computers, video phones, robot servants and the smart houses of "The Jetsons" would all be available, but I would be too old, near death even, to appreciate them.

In contrast, those younger than 25 possessed no great sense of wonder about the Year 2000, saying "It never seemed far away."

So 2000 is here, having made its entry in a flash of fire and light, a puff of smoke and a sigh, rather than a blackout and boom heard around the world.

Now that I contemplate my unwillingness to plan, I realize it was a gesture of hope and faith in our computer programmers and people who I trusted would not have pillaged and plundered if the worst happened. In fact, people in Hawaii always seem to pull together in moments of loss and pain.

As it happens, I won't be needing any hand-outs of water or Spam musubis. In fact, I've got a vat of chili and an extra $20. Woo-hoo!



Nadine Kam is features editor.



The Goddess Speaks runs every Tuesday
and is a column by and about women, our strengths, weaknesses,
quirks and quandaries. If you have something to say, write it and
send it to: The Goddess Speaks, the Honolulu Star-Bulletin, P.O.
Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802, or send e-mail
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