THANKS to Street & Smith, The Sporting News (my 351st favorite sports magazine) and the Internet, it's so much easier to compile candidates for my annual college football name game.
Parents make college
name game harder
Trouble is, parents are getting too conservative in naming their lads these days. Or else, they're losing their sense of humor.
They do seem to have an affinity for city names: Cleveland Pinkney (South Carolina), Dallas Davis (Colorado State), Nashville Dyer (Kent), Reno Ferri (Army), Phoenix Evans (East Carolina), Tulsa Payette (Austin Peay), Denver Williams (Youngstown State) and Orlando Iglesias (Houston).
But no one's named Earth Wind Moreland this season. He was on my all-name team last year. So was Hawaii's Houdini Jackson, who pulled a disappearing act and transferred to Washington.
BUT tonight's UH-USC season opener at Aloha Stadium has several players with names that'll catch your fancy.
I can't think of a better name for a lineman than the Rainbows' Manly Kanoa III.
And if there's any college with a football player formerly known as Prince, it has nothing on Southern California. The Trojans have two Sultans on their team -Sultan Abdul-Malik and Sultan McCullough.
A toast - with gin, of course - to Tanqueray Clark, a senior cornerback with the best name on the USC team.
Speed and smarts are important in football.
So for speed: Joey Goodspeed (Notre Dame), Grady Jett (Army), Rushen Jones (Vanderbilt) and Jimmy Jett (Tulsa). For smarts: Kareem Wise (Missouri), Ty Wise (Miami), Matt Sharp (Eastern Kentucky) and Rod Smart (Western Kentucky).
Plus, you've got to have these guys on your team: Sam Forehand (LSU), Tavarreus Pounds (Auburn), John Stamper (South Carolina, Chris Butcher and Quentin Jammer (Texas), John Hammer (San Jose State.) and Jeff Pilon (Syracuse).
These guys are for the birds: Canary Knight (Alabama), Pat Pidgeon (Penn State), Travis Finch (Houston) and Beji Peacock (No. Illinois).
You've heard of coaches saying they've got a lot of weapons at their disposal. Do you suppose they mean: Tank Williams (Stanford) and Mississippi's Armegis Spearman and Joe Gunn?
Golf seems to have invaded the gridiron: Tony Driver and Grant Irons (Notre Dame), Tee Martin (Tennessee), Wesley Ace (San Diego State), DeMorrio Shank (Memphis) and Margin Hooks (BYU).
Chess seems to be the game of choice at Texas-El Paso with a Castle (Curtis), King (Bobby) and Bishop (Ricky).
VIRGINIA'S definitely the home of presidents, all right. The Cavaliers' roster lists a Washington, Jefferson, Johnson and Taylor.
You have to wonder if Fresno State's Paris Gaines, a great name for a running back, will ever bump into Toledo's Todd France.
Wouldn't moniker meistersinger Chris Berman have fun, as I did, with these names:
Avon (Calling) Coubourne of West Virginia, Northern Illinois' Ryan (Per) Diem, Omar (Eggs Over) Easy of Penn State, (I Can't Believe It's Not Really) Butter Pressey of Delaware and Cable (Ready) Davis of Southern Mississippi.
Best name for a punter is Ryan Long (Texas) and place-kicker, Brian Long (Missouri).
Handling the officiating are Derek Homer (Kentucky), Joe Judge (McNeese State) and Boo Williams (South Carolina).
Heading the cheerleaders is Tango McCauley (Texas A&M), while Tommy Dorsey (SMU) leads the marching band.
The team physician? Terry Doctor (Bethune-Cookman).
Bill Kwon has been writing about
sports for the Star-Bulletin since 1959.