Honolulu Lite
I wanted to get a reaction from the Typical Hawaii Voter to the state Senate's refusal to reappoint Margery Bronster as attorney general, so I went to a major shopping center where T HVs are alleged to hangout. Short on
long-term
memoryThere were scads of Typical Hawaii Voters grazing in the food court so I cut one out of a smallish herd next to the Deep Fried Cajun Sushi 'N Pizza Plate Lunch Wagon Deli, drove him across the food court and cornered him near the Plain Old Tossed Green Salad With No Dressing Health Bar.
"What the heck you doing?" he asked. "I was about to order a pizza sushi burrito spring roll."
Are you a Typical Hawaii Voter?
"Yeah. And right now I'm hungry," he said.
I just wanted to ask you about the Senate turning down Margery Bronster as AG, I said.
"It's an outrage!" he screamed. "They aren't going to get away with it! Margery Bronster was doing a great job cleaning up that mess at Bishop Estate. And she was taking on the cigarette and oil companies to boot!"
So what are you going to do?
"I'm going to organize a coalition to investigate the senators who voted against Bronster to find out if they have any business dealings with Bishop Estate. We know that Marshall Ige has some kind of a land deal with Bishop Estate. There are probably others."
Then what will you do?
"Then we are going to publish names of the 14 senators who voted against what's her name, and we're going to make sure they get voted out of office.
"I memorized all their names already. Let's see, there's Carol Fukunaga, Norman Mizuguchi and, uh, well, I've got them written down somewhere."
Some of those people won't be coming up for election for years. Do you think you can keep up the momentum?
"Heck yeah! We're furious! We're not going to let Harold Mizuguchi and Diane Fukazaki get away with this."
Don't you mean Norman Mizuguchi and Carol Fukunaga?
"Whatever. We'll remember them. They can't go around getting rid of people like, what was her name again?"
Margery Bronster?
"Yeah. Margrette Bronhauser. Man, I'm starving to death. What's all this lettuce stuff? Do people actually eat this junk? I wouldn't touch it with 10-foot chopsticks."
So are you going to run large newspaper ads just before the election to remind other Typical Hawaii Voters what happened to Bronster?
"Why? What happened to her?"
The Senate refused to reappoint her! Don't you remember?
"Sure, sure, but, look how short the line is over at the Omlette Taco Spaghetti Siam Poi Palace. I could go for a good Toquito and Waffle Burger."
How can you think about eating when you are so mad about what the Legislature did?
"The Legislature? Is it still meeting? I thought they finished up weeks ago," he said.
No! Just last week they voted not to appoint Margery Bronster as Attorney General. What is wrong with you?
"Look, pal, I don't know who you are or why you're trying to sell me a plate of salad. But I'm not buying it. So, just back off and let me go get my lunch."
OK, I said. I guess it's true what they say about the Typical Hawaii Voter.
"What do they say? That we prefer South American broiled shortribs to Indonesian Seared Duck Lips?"
No, that you have an extremely short memory.
"Hey, buddy, pass the salt. This green leafy stuff is great! What do you call it again?"
Charles Memminger, winner of
National Society of Newspaper Columnists
awards in 1994 and 1992, writes "Honolulu Lite"
Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
Write to him at the Honolulu Star-Bulletin,
P.O. Box 3080, Honolulu, 96802
or send E-mail to charley@nomayo.com or
71224.113@compuserve.com.
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