

EVERY year around this time, just before the holiday pace picks up, I get a not-too-subtle reminder to take it out of gear and coast. In 1996, while motoring down the office stairs, I tripped and sprained my ankle. In 1997, the flu bug steered me straight to bed. A reminder to slow down
for the holidaysThen last Friday afternoon, as I got ready for a weekend of craft fairs and serious Christmas shopping, my 1998 intimation of mortality put a brake on my plans.
First, the world started spinning madly. After vertigo came nausea, vomiting, chills and the sweats. I became so delirious and my eyeballs were rolling around so violently that I didn't even see:
The concerned expressions of co-workers at my door, responding to my yelps for help.
The paramedics lifting me onto the gurney, hooking up IV tubes and heart monitors, and wheeling me through a shocked newsroom.
My first and last (I hope) ride in an ambulance to nearby Straub Hospital.
The faces of physicians, nurses and my parents as they hovered over me for six hours in the emergency room, before admitting me to a fourth-floor ward.
Some kind of viral infection of my inner ear had screwed up my equilibrium. So instead of spending three days shopping, I spent three days stopping -- to reflect on the complexity and delicateness of the human condition; to appreciate the joys of having family and friends nearby in times of need; and to remember never, ever to take for granted the best things in life, like robust health.
Being stuck in the hospital and at home afterward also meant I had lots of time to analyze (and perhaps overanalyze) events in the news. For example, I came up with these hypotheses:
If UH football Coach Bob Wagner was fired and the remainder of his contract bought out when the team was 4-8 in 1995, shouldn't Coach Fred "0-10" vonAppen have gotten the boot long ago?
If Circuit Judge James Aiona is going to hold a press conference to say he is leaving the bench because he "can't make it" on an annual salary of $86,000, shouldn't he disclose how much he can earn in the private sector? It's hard to play the sad violins for him and other judges when most people don't even make half that amount.
If mental telepathy could be heard, wouldn't the unspoken message being beamed from faux-smiling Speaker Joe Souki to once loyal underling and heir apparent state Rep. Calvin Say be: "Et tu, Cal?"
If we give clean needles to heroin addicts and free condoms in the schools based on the belief that young people are going to resort to this kind of behavior anyway, why aren't we doling out low-tar cigarettes to kids?
BUT here's the biggest revelation from my unanticipated stay at Straub and boring recuperation at home: If the holiday season is stressful, is it because too many of us cram the spirit of giving and love into a few days instead of recognizing and practicing it the rest of the year?
Just one weekend laid out in the hospital made me realize that it's not the stuff you buy for people at craft fairs and shopping centers that matters. What really counts is being there for those who need a helping hand as I did.
Take it from this once dizzy but now equilibrium-enjoying dame. Have a safe, sane and slow-paced holiday season.
Diane Yukihiro Chang's column runs Monday and Friday.
She can be reached by phone at 525-8607, via e-mail at
DianeChang@aol.com, or by fax at 523-7863.