‘Coming out’ helps others
By Carolyn Golojuch
still closeted
Editor's note: Sunday is National Coming Out Day.
In the past few days, I have read about four different hate crimes. The first was in Bangor, Maine, then a story from Chicago and now a savage beating in Laramie, Wyo. And, of course, in Honolulu, we've just witnessed the miscarriage of justice in the Kenneth Brewer murder trial, where a man was found quilty of a misdemeanor for killing a gay man.
Some of us think of Honolulu as a safe place. Unfortunately, if a man only gets a one-year sentence for beating a man to death, how safe is Honolulu? Translation: how safe is it for a gay man?I thought justice was blind and handed out fair and equitable sentences. I forgot to read the small print that seems to say except if you are a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender person.
Every time I read about stories of hate, I wonder about the effect of my statements encouraging people to come out of the closet.
I remember congratulating Congressman Jim Kolbe of Arizona two years ago after he was outed by a magazine article. We were standing on the floor of the 1996 National Republican Convention. At the end of my impromptu speech, I said, "Thank you for coming out. Every time another person comes out, the world is a safer place for my son."
As we face National Coming Out Day 1998, my hopes spring eternal, again...almost. We need more people to come out of darkness. One way to halt gay bashing is to look around and see the wonder in each individual. It is called unconditional love.
One way to achieve justice for all is to work for a state hate crimes act using the national act as a model. Now is the time. Hawaii is one of the few states without such legislation. We cannot afford to lose anyone else. We need a bill that protects our citizens regardless of their ethnic, racial or religious backgrounds, along with protection for their sexual orientation.
Pope Pius VI said: "If you want peace, work for justice." The late Kenneth Brewer cries for it. His sister, Louise, said that her brother did not get justice. The young college student in a Wyoming hospital bed who is fighting for his life needs justice. We cannot afford to wait.
When more people come out of the closet, those around them will finally understand that gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender persons are ordinary people. They come in all colors, sizes, religious and ethnic backgrounds, political parties, career fields and every other category possible. Some are wonderful and some not so wonderful, just like the straight community. But they cannot come out when they face a death like Brewer's or a beating like the Wyoming student.
Tomorrow those who open the door and take that first step into the light will be making a stand for justice in their lives and the lives of so many others.
Each person who comes out needs to prepare by getting a support group around them for backup and encouragement. For parents and families, PFLAG (Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) is sometimes the only place to turn for support.
I wish I could talk to more parents about the importance of acknowledging gay children to family, friends, co-workers, religious communities and neighbors.
When we put a face on the label gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender, we take the mystery away. When the stereotypes no longer fit, zero tolerance for hate crimes and anti-bias violence will be the norm. When we take this step toward the love of each individual just as they are, we are closer to life, liberty and justice for all.
Now, Hawaii needs to work towards making our state safe for everyone, regardless of their sexual identity. Then we can say we have created a safe place for everyone to be who they were created to be and welcome out with a "Happy Coming Out Day!"
Tomorrow
A candlelight vigil will be held for Kenneth Brewer at 7 p.m. tomorrow at the state Circuit Court Building, 777 Punchbowl.
Carolyn Martinez Golojuch is president of PFLAG Oahu.